Living in Unconditional Love (64)

May 29, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (64)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg


My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out, unlike many.


05/29/2022                    It is a period of time where the weakness of our nation was in broad display. Death and carnage by guns, the great love of this nation. And yet many dare call it a Christian nation! It is anything but, loving killing while piously rolling their eyes up and saying they will pray for the victims, while parading their guns like kids playing cowboys. Those that encourage the buying of such guns of mass killing are to blame for the deaths as much as anything, and this nation is more the anti-Christ than the being Christian. I do not understand how so many hold a bible in one hand and a gun in the other – one is the antithesis of the other. The twisting of the Word is profound as most of those same folks loudly portray various sexual acts as sin (LGBT and all) while gleefully waving a gun to instill fear. (Where are those that profess pro-life in this? Not a word. Most just wave their guns.) This nation has the worst records in the civilized world for gun safety, and that is not counting suicides with guns. The charts are off the wall, with about 10 times more deaths by guns (not suicides) per thousand inhabitants than any other civilized nation. I have not even talked about suicides, which normally is about 50% effective without guns, is almost always effective with a gun.

With my tendency for depression, I must watch myself in how much I dwell on the discouraging news. On one hand, it is great to see the slow progress in racial and sexual justice, on the other hand that progress brings out the hidden hatreds and prejudices that are rampant in our nation and world. The progress will by its nature cause those who see their perceived superiority threatened to rebel and attempt to place fear on those that they believe are threatening them. I tend to look at the progress being made, and accept that the anger revealed will also appear, along with the results that are there.

And the Supreme Court is presently on the side of the suppressors. Once the Chief Justice said that the 2nd amendment was clear: a well-regulated militia and required no further discussion; then the “conservative” justices said “well, they did not really mean well-regulated”. That is something I do not understand.

The weather has cooled, so things have not been burned up as with the heat. Normally I can control the temperature by opening a door or/and window, so I prefer the fresh air where possible. The azaleas are all starting, and the large purple rhododendrons I have are showing color, so they will be bright and glorious in a few days. It does not appear as if my other rhodos will bloom, generally because they are small or still recovering from the deer ravages of last year, and the extreme cold this year may have frozen any blooms if there were any. I will check. The irises are ready to pop, and some should start to bloom in the next week.

I did take the time at least one evening to pour myself some wine and walk down to the pond and sit in my new glider on the dock. Very peaceful, and I really need to take advantage of the beauty to just sit and enjoy. I spent about an hour just gazing at the woods and pond, watching the many little fish feeding on the evening bugs. Not jumping out of the water but just breaking the surface to feed on something I could not see. I came back when I ran out of wine. I do take a walk around the garden each day, and I intend to make it more of a ritual this year where I can enjoy and pick off old blooms.

I did spend several hours scattered throughout the week working on the bonsai, and as I said, much needs to be done. I do about one or two a day, and I have many. Some require repotting, which takes several hours. By “repotting” I mean removing from the pot, trim the roots which usually have filled the pot, getting fresh bonsai potting soil (usually very loose with special moisture absorbing stones) and putting back in usually the same pot.


Gentle One, I know You weep for our dead that sprawl our landscape and shake Your head in wonder at the strangeness of behavior of so many that proclaim they follow You. I place myself at Your hands that I may be one that offers aid to those that feel threatened in their fear of life. I ask for guidance as opportunities apper so that I may serve You in any way possible.

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My God has led me on an 80 year jaunt to ever more wondrous beauty. I am led to share this journey and gifts of God that have been showered upon me, not just for me but for whoever God brings into my path.

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