Mar 31, 2024

Living in Unconditional Love (160)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years after we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years. Covid has proved to be a persistent problem, and many of the long-term effects are quite serious, and it has proven much more serious than flu.

03/31/2024                                      Today is Easter Sunday, and is the anniversary of my mother’s death in 1992. Always with mixed emotions, sadness for this time of year (my father died on March 15, 2000, and of course Eileen died on February 22, 2020), but joy with Easter and the start of spring. I saw my first daffodil, a miniature yellow that always blooms early, and others that are starting to show color and will be blooming soon. I plan on driving to Barbara’s place Sunday morning (I am writing this on Friday so my Saturday and Sunday can be free for Holy Saturday events at church and the trip to Long Island) and then we will drive on to Paul and Carolyn Rogers home on Long Island for the annual Rogers Easter party. Always a good time to visit the vast family that arrives, and we all will have a great time, along with the Easter Bunny that is present every year. I will stay Sunday night with Barbara and return home on Monday.

This has been a quiet week, but then most of my weeks are quiet. The weather has been quite cool, in the 40s and 50s during the day and often dipping below freezing at night. Last Sunday, I almost did not make it to church as the parking lot was what they call black ice, and even though the grade is slight I had to walk very carefully to avoid falling, grabbing car parts to steady myself until I could walk on some snow which gave some traction. During the week, I was able to walk around the property and down to the pond to see all, and except for several new fallen trees in the woods all looked well.

My local parish group is having the various Holy Week liturgies this year, unlike last year when there were no Holy Week liturgies anywhere I felt comfortable driving. I believe that was the first time I missed Holy Week services other than during the pandemic for many years. I find it soothing to listen to the familiar readings and various parts of these particular services, and they help me to feel closer to Eileen. We had our first date on Holy Saturday (April16 that year), 1960, so I always have that memory front and center during this time.

My memories continue to be crowding in and presenting themselves at surprising times, but it is always good to remember the many good times and sometimes bad times we had over the years. I find the day slips by with little time left each day as I watch the passing moments.

Meditation

Gentle One I find myself leaning ever more on Your resting Being. I often seem to feel lost in the past, but I feel Your gentle touch gently guiding me and allowing me to taste the goodness of life every day. I am indeed grateful for Your abiding love and guidance throughout my life, filling my life with love and peace even when my actions seemed otherwise.