Mar 24, 2019
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future
To a known God”
Corrie ten Bloom
My wife and best friend Eileen has been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the esophagus. She has received radiation to reduce the tumor, and then is proceeding to get chemo. This blog will give my thoughts, fears, prayers, and hopes during this challenging and difficult time.
We have continued the busy and slightly overwhelming events that stare us in the face. This past week as I write this has been filled with daily radiation appointments, and there is only two left next week. We will have completed this phase of the treatments when you read this. We met with the chemo oncologist this week, and he outlined the next phase of the plan. Eileen will receive a pic line this coming week to ease the infusion of the drugs. The cycle is three weeks of infusion and one week off, for six cycles if she can handle this much. The hope is to slow the spread of the cancer cells for a longer and hopefully higher quality of life.
The drugs have been used over 30 years. They are Taxol and Carboplatin, which our daughter Barbara examined around 1990 as part of her PhD program in Chemistry. The biggest advances have been made in the drugs used to ease the side effects, and I have talked with a few that have or are being treated with these drugs or similar ones and have had little side effects. We can hope that Eileen will tolerate them with little side effects.
We also visited the funeral home that Eileen has chosen, picked out the urn, and planned the services they provide. We took home the forms to be filled out and will send them back in due time.
Eileen also attended a women’s Lenten retreat in our Church and I attended the men’s spiritual group meeting. This helped, as each day is new to us on this venture.
We have listened to a 20-minute meditation by Deepak Chopra and Oprah for several years every morning that we could. This year we have added a 10-minute mindfulness meditation. We have continued this effort and have just started the series on “Gratefulness”.
We have had a long and charmed life and are truly grateful for the love we have seen showered on us during this 59-year journey. The love that has been shown to us during this time; the visits by friends and relatives that have lifted our spirits; the gentleness shown by all in the cancer center; all have revealed the depth of the Love of God that is present in the world. We are awed by the concern the doctors, nurses, and aids show every day to all who come into their facilities and it is wonderful to see. Those called to this work are a wonder to behold, as their cheerful faces are uplifting to see at this time. It is a challenging job that the staff carries off all day, and I hold them in great respect for the cheer and hope they bring to all.
God speaks in wonderous terms, and we hold this evidence of the Love of God deeply in our heart.
Our Wonderous Comforter, we place ourselves in your Care. The love shown by all we meet truly lifts our hearts and allows us to place all we have in our life gently in Your Presence, and we know deeply that You will wrap us in Love, especially in this difficult time. All we have is given to this phase of our life, and we know deeply that the calling into this shifting from this life into the next step is but a step of joy for eternity. We are grateful for all You give us each moment, and rest easily each night in love.