Dec 11, 2022

           Living in Unconditional Love (92)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

12/11/2022                             After the drama of last week, it was good to have a quiet week of ordinary things. We (my new active partners and I) sent out letters to customers and industry partners explaining the death of my partner and the new arrangements and have received many nice replies. So life goes on.

Friday night our small bonsai group met for our annual Christmas gathering and it was a wonderful time of just chatting and sharing information of our whereabouts. We ended up, as always, at the house of one of the members for dessert and coffee or tea, until it was time to go home to bed. Great time.

The weather has turned decidedly colder, and the first snowstorm is expected next week. Maybe we will have a white Christmas. It has been quiet for now, but the birds have been busy at the feeder. I have a sturdy squirrel-proof feeder (it works) but it also prevents large birds from feeding and a BluJay has found it can grab a mouthful by fluttering a bit to keep the weighted door from shutting. It spends hours each morning getting its daily dose. Fun to watch the many birds spending all day to get their supply of grain. I will be watching carefully when the snow starts to be sure the supply is maintained.

I has mentioned several weeks ago that I had seen several beautiful poems that delt with death and remembrance and quoted one. I would like share another with you that has deeply moved me.

When I die if you need to weep

Cry for your brother or sister

Walking the street beside you.

 

And when you need me put your arms around anyone

And give them what you need to give me.

 

I want to leave you something better

Than words or sounds.

 

Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved

And if you cannot give me away

At least let me live in your eyes and not on your mind.

 

You can love me most by letting hands touch hands

By letting bodies touch bodies.

 

And by letting go of children that need to be free.

 

Love doesn’t die, people do.

 

So when all that’s left of me is Love

 

Give me away.

 

I know in my heart that poem expresses the love of Eileen held for our world and our family. Love like I am and give me away. Her unconditional love sustained me for 60 years and continues to support me and sustain me every day. It sustained me through depression attacks, cancer, MERSA, long periods of extensive travel, times of delight with the breathtaking family, and times when the song of Love rang over all.

Meditation

Gentle One, Your grace has filled my life and brought me to the time of living on love each day. I marvel at the beauty of the world that has been given me, I marvel at the love of all those who surround me, I marvel at the ease of life I have at this time, I marvel most of all at all the memories that I am so grateful for.