Mar 06, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (52)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out, unlike many.

 

03/06/2022                                     I have been writing this particular column for one year; just seem to have started it. But the title says it all: Living in Unconditional Love, as I had that unbelievable gift from the wonderful person who gave me her life for 60 years, and I believe still is guiding me on my journey here before I join her.

I returned from the delightful trip to Lima, Peru early this past Friday morning (1:30 when I reached home, courtesy of my son Tim and grandson Max who picked me up at Syracuse airport at midnight). The trip wa a wonderful opportunity to celebrate Dan and Alesandra’s daughter Maria’s second birthday on February 21, born the day before Eileen’s death. I had the opportunity to see beauty and wonder in a warm climate just perfect during the day, 75 each day, 66 at night, nary any rain – Lima is in a desert. The Andes mountains are not far away, and all their water comes from there. Their condo overlooks the ocean, which is at the bottom of a 500 or so foot cliff. The condo is on the 15th floor. A park of several hundred feet deep is along the road before the cliff. Tennis courts were directly across the building in the park before the cliff. All glass front in every room gives a breathtaking view all the time with wonderful sunsets almost every night, unless the fog rolls in, which happened the last few days I was there.

Covid has hit Peru very hard, and a great effort is made to prevent transmission. Masks are required everywhere, and a guard is at every store or mall entrance checking vaccination status. Most stores require double masks to enter, even grocery stores and restaurants. Because the condo is still being finished, we did not have a chance to explore more of Lima as workers were in almost every day, and I will see the old town area, which is further away, on another trip. Their area is all modern and all is kept very clean with nothing left on the streets, and we ate at several of their favorite restaurants, including one with a street opening and only a few tiny tables but wonderful food. They use Uber or walk to get around, they are picked up at the front door if they ride.

Being with the two granddaughters was a delight. Eileen would have been captivated by them. I watched Mackenzie (8 months) learn to crawl, and she went from just a couple of pulls and then stopping to going 6-8 feet to her goal without stopping on hands and knees the evening before I left. She and her sister usually get along, but sometimes —. Fun to watch. The personalities are quite different; Maria is still very effervescent and wants everything, laughing a lot and crying a lot when prevented. Mackenzie is a watcher, smiling a lot but not the bubbly way that Maria does but more in a quiet way and is very determined in her goals. She seemed to cry only when she was hungry or bumped or startled but does ‘talk’ a lot.

I met many people including Alesandra’s mom. Even though she speaks no English and I speak no Spanish, we got along great. She is a delightful person and smiles a lot. I can see why her Teddy Bear store is a resounding success. We went to lunch and dinner. I heard that was one of the few times she had closed her store for anything, and I feel honored to be the reason. She was with us several times, including when I left early in the morning (5am) to watch the girls while both Dan and Alesandra took me to the airport.

The birthday party on Sunday the 20^th was great with about 30 people present, including Alesandra’s grandfather and his wife. He is still very busy managing his properties and is a vigorous person who loves his great-grandchildren, and they had no problem being held by him. But it was at the party that I was almost overcome with emotion, missing Eileen almost to the point of tears. Not sure why, perhaps just the absence of her presence. Being there at this time was the reason I went, and it proved a wise decision. I loved the chance to be totally accepted by the children, and they had no problem being with me by the time I left.

I stayed an extra week, and with care had no problem health-wise. They only use bottled water, which prevents the worst of the adjustment problems that could arise. It was a requirement that I receive a negative Covid test within 24 hours of departure, and the nurse came to the condo (!) to do the test at noon, and we had the results by five that day. That did make it easy.

I was dismayed upon landing in Atlanta to see the slackness of mask wearing even in the airport. Many kept the mask below their nose, which defeats the whole thing. Only once did I hear a complaint about the wearing a mask in Peru, and that was by in an American complaining loudly in English about how she couldn’t breathe before going into a mall. It was a bit ironic that with the long layover I went into the Delta lounge (I flew first class both ways that allowed me an opportunity to be in the lounge; the only way to go at my age) and everyone there wore their masks carefully and fully. But elsewhere in the airport many were not wearing them properly, and some just refused to wear them. I had a wheelchair for the long portals at the airports, and that proved to be a boon, as I did not have to worry about where to go.

I will be wearing a mask much of the time in the future, as I have not had a cold or any sickness (except for this past Christmas when I caught a cold from one of my daughters) in several years, and that is worth the slight inconvenience of a mask. I still am not used to seeing almost all without a mask when I go out and find myself shying away from many.

Life goes on. I had been looking forward to the trip, it was great being with all, but now I am home and not feeling too bad about being home except for the tons of mail and stuff to clean up. God gave me what I needed, and I felt the presence of Eileen during this event keeping me company and loving all along with me.

Meditation

Gentle One, You gave me peace and comfort during this most challenging time of the year, filling my life with joy and laughter and giggles (and tears). This was a wonderous trip, seeing parts of the world that I would never see on my own. Soon will be the joys of Spring, and hope for the world, even as it weeps in war. I place my trust in You that all will settle out as it should be. My love for Eileen was stretched even more, and all will be well, all will be well, no matter what happens.