Jan 02, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (43)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down over a year and a half, and still going strong from my viewpoint, as I wear my mask anytime I am out, unlike many.

01/02/2022                                     2022! Another year has flown by, filled with much joy and sorrow. Mostly I have been adjusting to living alone, and learning to appreciate life again after losing Eileen, now approaching two years ago. I feel that I am beginning to stretch out again, loving life, family, and seeing the beauty of new life and being awed by nature, as always.

This past week has been filled with joy and beauty, as eight of us gathered for a few days. Some have already left as I write this on Saturday, and the remaining Ohio group of three will leave Sunday afternoon, leaving me by myself once again. It will take some adjusting time to feel joyful once more when by myself.

We all went to Mohonk Mountain House for our three nights/four days (we squeeze every moment there that we can). It was as awesome as always, and I did very little except enjoy the views and ambience. It was a joy to see my brother in-law and family once more, enjoy the fires in the various fireplaces, and the wonderful food. We had much catching up to do and chatted at various times when we could. We squeezed tea-time in the afternoon before leaving, arriving back home around 7:30. Two days we were engulfed with fog, and it was “interesting” driving down the mountain to come home. I drove there but did not drive home. Since white lines were present, we could see the road coming down the mountain. We stayed beneath the fog in most of the drive home, but it was a real challenge to climb my country road as we were in heavy fog and seeing the edges was a bit tricky. We had our usual pizza afterwards, ordering it on the way home so there was not an extra trip for the food.
But then life’s reality set in. On Friday I received a message from a close friend that her husband had died on Thursday evening. He had been battling lymphoma cancer for many months and been in the hospital for several months. The doctors had been optimistic up to the very end, but his body just said ‘enough’. He had just retired, and they had moved closer to one of their children, and then —. We had Sunday brunch together for many years, and they were a delightful couple. I have missed them over the months.

And so, life reminds us that life is a gift, one that we should always be in awe about. No other creature that we know can ask that basic question “why?”, and no other creature can strive to answer that question. The launching of the James Webb telescope on Christmas day (I believe that was an appropriate date) to search out the very beginning of the universe, using light that was emitted at the very early stages of the universe to see (hopefully) the very first stars and galaxies that formed some 13.7 billion years ago.

We have been blessed with incredible gifts, especially life itself, as fragile as it appears in physical form. I have been blessed to have a life partner for 60 years, an incredible fraction of my 87 years on this planet. I have been gifted to have much joy, delightful children and grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and friends – lots of friends over the years. I have seen many wonders, many moments of bliss and awe, and have been further gifted by a sense of compassion and delight that allows me to sense the power of the universe and more that we call God. I have also been blessed with pain and joy, for life consists of much pain and sorrow that permit us to see the depth of life in all others in a unique manner that only can be called human. It is through pain, ours, and others, that is that gateway into eternity in the path of love.

Meditation

Gentle One, You give me life. I look at each day as it unfolds, awestruck by this wonderous gift. I place myself into Your care, for only there can I find peace and joy, even during life’s sorrows and wonder. You remind me that this life is but a foretaste, one that is both long and short, depending on how I view it. Your gentle reminders on life’s briefness, no matter the number of years, brings into focus each moment that I can view positively or negatively as I choose. I ask your help to continue to view life in a positive direction, each moment of each day.