Dec 12, 2021

  Living in Unconditional Love (40)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down over a year and a half, and still going strong from my viewpoint, as I wear my mask anytime I am out, unlike many.

12/12/2021                                     I continued to decorate, completing all before the tree goes up on December 24. I will bring the tree in (or rather have it brought in) from the garage a few days early, and the lights shall blaze in welcome. I have added a small “Dicken’s” village with a few lighted buildings on the coffee table, brightening up that spot. I had to go into Binghamton to find a real wreath at a grocery story that now hangs on the front door. On Saturday eve (last night) I ventured out to my favorite restaurant PS (their mushroom soup is to die for) now located in downtown Binghamton, for the annual Bonsai Club dinner. Only a few of us were there, but it is always a joyful time. Masks on unless eating or drinking, as Covid continues its toll.

St. Francis is the person who started the concept of having a stable as part of the Christmas theme, but December 25^th has been celebrated as the day of Jesus birth at least as far back as the 4^th century, even though we don’t know when it was. Up until the 12^thcentury with St. Francis it was a low-key celebration as far as Christianity was concerned, even though that time of the winter solstice has long been a pagan celebration of the start of the lengthening of daylight. St. Francis believed strongly that the day God became human in physical form was day to celebrate humanities transformation as children of God (which was at the beginning of time), not Easter time, and had the audacity to celebrate with a live stable, uplifting the day to a glorious feast. I have come to celebrate Christmas in the same way, as being the center of the “good news” Jesus mentioned.

Speaking of bonsai, I have been talking about cutting back; but I purchased from a mail order place a rare very slow growing evergreen (1-2 inches per year) that I will pot in a couple of months. It came this past Saturday, about 6 inches across and maybe 7 tall, and has very full needles – all I can see is the ball of needles. I have put it in my bonsai storage room. I will have to see how it grows and what I can do to make it more like a classic bonsai once I remove it from the pot it is in.

I am preparing to make my mother’s classic molasses cookies this coming week. I love them dearly, and the uncooked batter really tastes delicious. It is one that requires an overnight in the refrigerator before shaping and baking. A lot of work (the flour must be sifted five times) but worth it. I bought the molasses and Crisco shortening this week, have the flour and brown sugar, all sitting on the countertop. Makes quite a mess, as much flour on countertop (and floors) since the batter is very sticky, and the rolling-pin and hands must be covered with flour constantly.

I am looking forward to having the family here during the Christmas celebration, and all the noise and love that is present. Still bitter-sweet, but the joy of family is palpable.

Meditation

Gentle One, I lay in peace at this time of year. I miss Eileen, but time flows on, and I will join her in not too many years. Grief has shown me the beauty of life in a new way, seeing the universe as one and I am a part of that great beauty, flowing and ebbing as time goes forward. Joy and happiness are still possible, no matter what occurs in life.