Oct 01, 2023

Living in Unconditional Love (134)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years after we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years.

10/01/2023                             October already! But time does march on. I was reminded again of the shortness of life as I found out that one of my high school friends had died a couple of weeks ago, John Deidrick. I was talking to his brother Tom on his birthday (Tom and I have remained friends over the years, along with his wife and fellow high school classmate Barbara, who died shortly after Eileen in 2020) and he told me the news. John, who was also a widower, lived alone, and had not been feeling well the past few months, but was found dead by the shower by his son. And so life goes on.

It does seem I spend much time thinking about my past life, and at my age that is not surprising. I came across a prayer by Henri J. Nouwen in his book You are the Beloved, a daily prayer book that has helped me over the years.

O Lord,

 

Life passes by swiftly. Events that a few years ago kept me preoccupied have now become vague memories; conflicts that a few months ago seemed so crucial in my life now seem futile and hardly worth the energy; inner turmoil that robbed me of my sleep only a few weeks ago has now become a strange emotion of the past; books that filled me with amazement a few days ago now do not seem as important; thoughts that kept my mind captive only a few hours ago have now lost their power and have been replaced by others…. Why am I continuously trapped in this sense of urgency and emergency? Why do I not see that you are eternal, that your kingdom lasts forever, and that for you a thousand years are like one day? O Lord, let me enter into your presence and there taste the eternal, timeless, everlasting love with which you invite me to let go of my time-bound anxieties, fears, preoccupations, and worries…. Lord, teach me your ways and give me the courage to follow them.

 

Amen

 

One of my most favorite bible quotes is from Luke 17:21; “The kingdom of God that lies within”, and I spend a lot of time sorting my life around to be able to know that somehow, someway, I live in that kingdom of God, despite all the pain and cruelty in the world. For if that kingdom does indeed lie within, then I believe it is a feeling, and place for the soul to find rest, right now, despite what is happening to the body. It also tells me that if indeed I am now living in the kingdom of God, then that kingdom is messy and exists in ways that is unfathomable. As St. Paul describes his life, our task is to bring that kingdom alive so that others can find and taste the joy that is promised despite the vagaries of life as they experience it. It is in that task of kingdom creation that we taste indeed of that kingdom.

Meditation

Gentle One, I place myself constantly in your presence so that I may find the peace that passes understanding. Sometimes I know I am in that presence, but most often I do not know even though I understand that I live in that presence constantly. I offer myself with joy and am constantly amazed at the wonders that are placed before me.