Jul 30, 2023

Living in Unconditional Love (125)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years after we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years.

07/30/2023                             I do have a few lilies blooming here and there that were missed. I had expected to see all of them gone once they emerged from the various weeds that had hidden them, but they are still there, and some are open. Tim, the maintenance person I use, believes it was deer not chipmunks. He saw deer prints in the garden and it fits in with the missed blooms, especially those close to the house, and the traps he had set for the chipmunks were untouched.

I had my second shingles vaccine on Saturday, so I should not get it again. I had what was termed a mild case in my face many years ago, and if that was mild, I do not want another. My back is giving me problems, which occurs occasionally. I have gone to the chiropractor earlier this week, and it will just take time to slowly heal, but it will.

I listened to a wonderful meditation by James Finley in the podcast Turning to the Mystics in season 1 this week. It fits our human condition well and I would like to include the source material here, as it sums up what every human can say. It is from the book Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton, and is available online by googling Thomas Merton.

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

 

This prayer reflects the truth that lies buried deep in all our hearts. We cannot know the road ahead, and just because we think we are following God’s will for us, we all have that niggling doubt deep inside that wonders if we have any idea of God’s will for us but are instead following our own will because it may be easier. I have used this prayer at various difficult times in my life when I was filled with doubt and fears, and it always seems to help. It was especially helpful a few years ago shortly after Eileen’s death when I felt lost and helpless, and the days never seemed to end. Sleep was fitful and filled with leg spasms and other signs of stress. Somehow God led me to this prayer, and it has proven restful over the years.

 

Meditation

Gentle One, You have gently led me to a position where I can rest in Your Love, not worrying if I am doing everything, let alone anything, according to Your will. Instead, I know that if I desire to do Your will, that in itself is Your will, and I am therefore doing Your will. It may seem to spin back upon itself but it the simplest approach to a life in God that is simple to see and approach. Thank You for inspiring Thomas Merton to give us this clear approach to a gentle and happy life.