Jul 02, 2023

Living in Unconditional Love (121)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years after we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask some of the time I am out among people, unlike most.

07/02/2023                                      I am writing this a few days early, as I will be traveling to Barbara’s place on Saturday and then to Virginia to Dan and Alesandra’s home on Sunday to prepare for the big birthday party for Mackenzie, who will turn 2 next week. Their birthday parties are a sight to behold – mermaids and a bouncy house are only a start. I am looking forward to all the excitement.

Today has seen a return of the deadly smoke haze from Canada, with it being in the red zone of 162 as I write this. I had planned on mowing the lawn but not with this level of smoke. I am staying inside where the air filtering system can cleanse the air. I think that the Canadian fires are worse than usual, especially this early in the year, but we have never had the smoke here that makes breathing so difficult and dangerous if outside. When we had this level a few weeks ago I came down with pneumonia and I will see my doctor tomorrow to be sure I am over that before heading to the party. That recent bout with pneumonia makes me very leery about being outside without a mask.

My first lily bloomed this week, an Asiatic that is bright orange and up-facing. It is very short, about a foot tall, but large blooms, over three inches. Love to see some lilies right now, as I lost many due to the late freeze in May. The peonies are past their peak but still beautiful, and I can see that the ones I planted over the past few years are all growing. A few bloomed this year, and more will next year as all should bloom then.

It is a bit frustrating to have nice days (but we have had some much-needed rain) but cannot venture out with the poor air quality. The bonsai are truly suffering, and I am planning on giving away some of my plants to the club members when they come here for the annual picnic in a few weeks. 24 is just too many to care for, and the poor air makes it difficult to work at all on the beautiful plants.

I still sit inside and enjoy the beautiful blooms; I just dare not venture out even wearing a mask for long with the dangerous air quality. Between the rain and poor air, I find myself lying around, sleepy, and grumpy since nothing gets accomplished in the long list of things, I had planned on doing.

I tripped on the coffee table leg Sunday night as I went to get up to go to bed, and of course fell across the table, spilling a large vase with flowers and water and ending up hitting the rocking chair across from me. Banged a few spots, but no damage except for my pride and a few small bruises. Living alone does give one pause about tripping and breaking something. I am always careful on stairs and bring my cane when I walk any distance. Other than that, I am feeling well, better than many my age so I have nothing to complain about. I am constantly feeling grateful for my long life, being able to enjoy life well. I will have to start thinking about taking more precautions to be able to call for help if I should fall and hurt myself in the future.

Meditations

Gentle One, I rest in You each day that You continue to give me physical life, so grateful for all I have received in this life. The wonders of the universe open before me in the glorious sky and summertime bloom that fills the eyes with Your glory. I rest each day in wonder and peace, knowing that all I behold is but a fraction of what I receive that is hidden from me in this life.