Apr 23, 2023

Living in Unconditional Love (111)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike most.

04/23/2023                                      The spring bulbs are wonderful, and it is a joy to walk around the gardens and enjoy the bloom. I may have spoken too soon about the phoebe, as I have not seen it again. We shall see – they often surprise me by their antics and timing. This weekend I am going down to Barbara’s place to see their version of the King and I. I am writing this on Friday and will drive there on Saturday to see the Sunday matinee. They always do a great job and I expect the same this year. My summer tires are on the car, so I am ready to roll.

All the bonsai are leafing out, so they survived the winter in good shape. I have repotted a few and will do a few more as spring progresses. Everything looks healthy and that is a good way to start the year. I will start the fertilizing routine in another week. It is, as Eileen put it, “weakly weekly”. I use a weak solution of the instant fertilizer every week until the end of July or early August and then stop for the year. That gives them time to ‘harden off’ before winter comes, as new growth is tender, and I want to discourage new growth the last few months of the growing season.

Then lawn is growing like crazy, so I will start the mowing season early next week after I return from Barbara’s home.

I have visited Eileen’s grave a couple of times and the daffodils that Tim and I planted in the fresh soil are starting to bloom. It looks clean and ready for the summer. Tim had visited earlier and cleaned up the area, and it looks nice.

As I understand God based on the actions of Jesus, God is very interested in what is going on in our world and is especially close to all the pain in the world. Jesus wept several times and probably much more than recorded (and laughed even more at the foolishness of human behavior). I believe God mourns at our foolish behavior that damage one another and this small ball that we live on. God spent almost what we know as 14 billion years creating this perfect world for us and in only a few hundred years we are destroying our very home. We have the power to keep it going for millions of years, and we have the power to make it almost uninhabitable in what will seem like overnight. What we do now will set the tone for this portion of the universe for the foreseeable future. Many portions of the bible are filled with lamentations including many of the psalms, where even the very earth mourns that loss and neglect to love all that is made for our joy, as I was reminded by Richard Rohr in his daily musings this week. Jesus came to show us the vibrant love of God for all of creation, to join in the joyful and painful journey that we call life, and to call us to love one another (and all of creation) as we love ourselves. And as I have seen in my sixty-year affair with Eileen, love is always joyful, even amid pain.

It is sad indeed to see how few love broadly the multitude of humanity in all its wonderous variety, let alone all the wonders of creation. Life is rich indeed if we have but eyes to see.

Meditation

 

Gentle One, I am soaked in the beauty of this time of the year of birthing. Beauty in numerous flowers, the many trees leafing out, the spurts of growth in bushes and what we call weeds but are the signs of life that are rich indeed. I cannot see all and not stop in bliss at the beauty of all that is present. I shared this with Eileen when I visited her this week, but I miss our physical touch and vibrant love that flowed when we locked eyes. I give myself to You at this time; keep all that radiates beauty safe from the careless behavior of all that should revere all.