Mar 19, 2023

Living in Unconditional Love (106)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike most.

03/19/2023                                      This is the waiting period just before a momentous event: the birth of Madison Peters, the latest in Alesandra and Dan’s young family, scheduled to be born on Friday, March 24. C-section. They have packed for the hospital, and all is ready.

The weather has been snowy but not too cold, but the wind can be truly chilling sometimes. Today was the first day this year that I did not wear my winter jacket when out to do my grocery shopping. As usual for this time of year, is still have some snow on the ground since altogether almost a foot fell over the past 10 days. The warmer weather and high winds made sure it did not block the driveway after being plowed last Sunday. The Winter Aconite are in full bloom and very pretty with their bright yellow blooms when the sun shines.

This is of course ‘March Madness’ time. I find that there is an abbreviated showing of all the games, so I have watched several in that form when I found the time. This seems to be a year of upsets, so it can be fun to watch. No, I did not fill out the brackets.

The cold weather and sloppy ground make it difficult to go outside. While I can watch from the windows, I find myself itching to get out and at least walk around. Spring is almost here, and it won’t be long before I can at least look over the damage from the winter. From what I can see, things look to be in pretty good shape. The next few weeks set the tone for the rest of spring. The bird feeder has been busy since the ground has been covered with snow. Maybe this week if will be clear, but not sure and right now the feeder is busy and the snow is several inches deep on the grass.

No robin has been sighted yet.

Once again, the week has slid by, and here it is Saturday as I write this.  The weather kept me inside most times, except for physical therapy for my knee. Even that was snowed out on Tuesday. I am amazed that it will be Spring in a few days, as time moves at speed that is startling. My time is filled with things that must be done to hold the house like grocery shopping, etc., and painting and Lego-style-model building in the times between. I had not touched the models for many months but have sat down with the models once again in the evenings and find it enjoyable.

I find that God has been gentle with me, as this phase of my life flows on. I find it generally joyful and sad at the same time. Problems are few and usually easy to fix, and I have few aches and pains for my age, better than most. Yes, it can be joyful and sad at that same time, as I miss Eileen and the house seems empty, but the joy of life sings on, and I am awed by all that exists.

Meditation

Gentle One, You hold me gently and let me feel Eileen when I turn to her. My painting of her pictures and having her presence throughout the house has proven to be a great help, and her love fills the house and family. Further love in the form of new life that is about to join the family is breathtaking in scope. I bow in gratitude and love.