May 16, 2021

   Living in Unconditional Love (10) 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort: 

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings- 

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul, 

Yet separate in form.” 

–Mechtild of Magdeburg 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down for over a year. 

05/16/2021 The weather was more pleasant than I had expected this week, and I could mow all parts of the mowing areas (I won’t call all these fields that I keep mowed “lawn”, but they look nice when short.) and I could spend several hours on the bonsai. Then on Friday we had the bonsai club meeting on a porch of one of the members, and it was great to chat and talk without masks, as all had been vaccinated and it was outside. Plus, they helped with some of Eileen’s larger bonsai, which take time to trim. Next month we will have our annual picnic at my place as usual, even though we did not have it last year. I will supply tables, plates, etc., and they will supply food.   

Time just seemed to flow this week, and here it is Saturday and time to write the journal. God has eased my soul this week, kept me busy (plants have arrived to be put in containers early next week, but they need to be acclimated for several days by spending some time outside and nights inside), daffodils in peak bloom, lilacs starting to open, and apple trees in glorious bloom, and finally today putting my plants that I bring in for the winter out on the deck, against the house for some shade for now. 

Simple, everyday events. Yet how deeply satisfying they are. Making meals, painting, models (even though now that I can spend time outside, I am spending much less time on the painting and models), kind of keeping things neat and clean so I don’t have to pick up too much when the Merry Maids come, — all things that both fill the time and keep the house in a manner that Eileen would approve. 

But world events have saddened me greatly this week, especially watching the direction of a major political party. I needed the following prayer from my daily readings this morning (God provides when we least expect it): 

Mother, our world is burning. 

I will stand beside you. 

Together we will usher an age of peace and mercy. 

Back into the broken heart of creation. 

Together we will step into the flames, 

And we will not be consumed. 

–Andrew Harvey, Inspired by Mirabai Starr 

Light the Flame: 365 Days of Prayer 

We did make great strides towards racial justice in 2020 and that is encouraging. But the reaction of the Republican party is to foster more and more suppression of the vote, by claiming the “Big Lie”. Truly a sad event that has affected me deeply. Some may reject what I am about to say, stating I have “gotten political”. But I haven’t. Truth is not political. Justice is not political. Honor is not political. Love is not political. 

I am saddened to watch our country sink further into the trap of hatred (another word for fear) and privilege (it has always been present but hidden) with almost half of the nation promoting the “Big Lie” so they can work to enslave 180,000,000 of the country. For make no mistake, that is the goal. Oh, it won’t be called enslavement, but it will certainly disenfranchise many millions of our poorest in our country, just so the white minority (yes, minority) can continue to hold power despite being a minority, a minority that will only increase as the years go by. That sense of entitlement (remember South Africa) has been part of the foundation of our nation from the very beginning, somewhat hidden for the past 50 years but always present. I won’t be present to watch all the extreme pain that will occur over the next several decades (I am 87), but it will happen, and much pain and unrest will occur, many deaths, and it could result in the destruction of our nation with another civil war. Richard Rohr, the Franciscan author, calls it “scapegoating”, in reference to the biblical ritual of taking a young goat, placing all sins on the goat, and then drive it out into the desert to die. For that is the way humanity generally works: place their wrong dealings on another, in our case those of another skin color and/or language, and treat them shabbily, as we secretly think we should be treated. Germany chose the Jews; we have chosen various minorities depending on the moment. Trump chose the Islamic religion, but usually it has been any of another skin color. 

 I was very happy with the progress of racial justice seemingly made this past year. But the future looks bleak from my viewpoint, and I believe things will get worse as time goes by as voting (and life) becomes more difficult for so many. 

No, we are not a Christian nation, despite the outcry of those promoting hate. And few of our so-called Christian churches have spoken out against what is occurring. After all, it would stop the flow of the all-mighty dollars. (I can be a cynic) Besides, most white preachers believe the same. The Vatican wrote a chastising letter to the American bishops this past week, because the bishops plan on voting to see if the President should be permitted to receive the Eucharist because he supports choice, the law of the land, even though he privately opposes abortion. The Vatican also chastised the bishops for their concentration on abortion and euthanasia, and ignoring the evils of white privilege – again, in my opinion, the money, and, I believe, many bishops own private beliefs. I am pleased that at least the Vatican sees the horrors that the American bishops support and are actively pointing that out. No, I have not heard a word from the pulpit about this problem, even in my parish, which is, I think, the only somewhat progressive parish in the diocese, at least for now. That may change for the worse with our pastor retiring this July, as our deacon is very conservative, and we have been informed that our parish will become a subsidiary of a conservative neighboring parish. Then I am not sure of what I will do. 

This is a great deviation from my normal journal flow, but my internal feelings, which Eileen and I have discussed many times and are in firm agreement, has filled my sense of self with pain, as I have watched the lies and the firm commitment of the Republican party to destroy our nation with their continuation of lies, so they can justify destructive laws that will make it very difficult to vote if you are a minority, even throwing out members who point out the lie as being a lie. I hate to say it, but that was Hitler’s approach back in the 1930’s: repeat a lie often enough and many will come to believe it. I was raised with a sense of the dignity of all people, even when that was not the way most were believing. As I have mentioned, my parents were the only Caucasian members of the local branch of the NAACP back in the 1940’s in my home in Ohio. My mother’s letters to the editors were published by the Cleveland Plain Dealer, as the local paper would not print them – too challenging about racial injustice.  

These internal beliefs are there to behold in the general news; as I watch no news program, but read the internet news, especially the New York Times. Even reading the headlines is discouraging. This week especially has set my depression off, and I would be remiss not to talk about it. After all, God expects me to tell the truth where I can, when I can, do my part in imparting peace and love. 

Meditation  

Gentle One, Your Love has filled my life with joy over the years. Now that life has crossed the threshold that time dictates with Eileen’s death, I must face my own brief stay in this world of wonder. I place myself in Your care and see the joys of life still present especially in this time of the year with its’ verdant new life. I find sorrow in the state of our nation, as hatred and insanity come to grip even harder. I ask Your forgiveness and aid in helping all who are suffering from this pain, on all sides.