Feb 08, 2015

Pondering

 

Step 4. Make a fearless examination of what is preventing me from surrendering my life over to the care of God as I understand Her/Him.

 

This step is one of the keys to living the Life of Abundance. We have discussed previously that the true Life of Abundance requires us to commit to steps that seems to be the opposite of what the Great American Alliance states: Self-reliance. How can we have self-reliance and at the same time surrender our selves over to the care of our God? Why can we not find peace, joy, and happiness within us where we are? What is preventing us?

 

 

Simple, as I have previously stated. We have left ourselves drifting on the whims of fate, of every idea and concept that comes along, neither seeing or even sensing the infinite power granted us by our God, who “Made us in the Image and Likeness of God” (Genesis 1). Only by aligning ourselves with the Universe, which is the creative power of our God, the All in All, the Alpha and the Omega that we can discover who we really are. It is through the universe that all creation stems, and the universe is God in the form of energy, the primitive creative force that is part of what we have called God.

 

We too are creative, as are all Images of God. We have just not been aware of the creative power we hold as part of our basic nature. The process of aligning ourselves with the universe gives us access to this infinite creative power, and by letting ourselves flow with the quest of our soul in this life. the result will be one of joy and happiness, no matter what occurs from the viewpoint of the world.

 

We all have fears of letting go of our life and especially of letting ourselves immerse into the realm where we can not, will not, worry, be afraid of what “could” happen, and let ourselves float in the results of what occurs, even though we had a different result in mind. Note that I said different, not better or worse, but a result that will be the best it can be given the purpose we came into this life to find.

 

This fourth step is the step wherein we have to take the time to look deeply into our own inner drives. We should look, and write down In a notebook or a journal, those parts of our life that we are afraid to look at, namely, our fears, our worries, our concerns, our angers, our grievances, our anxieties, all those parts of our life that constrain us and limit our thinking.

 

The Journal

 

This is a key portion of our journey into a life of joy and happiness. We are to keep a record of where we are, especially those area where feel we are hindered in our growth to a life of peace, joy, and happiness, so that we can see the progress that occurs day by day, month by month, and year by year. This record provides us insight into the journey, its twists and turns, and especially gives us insight into where we have been and points out the ever changing path we are on, each day.

 

The journal does not have to elaborate. It could as simple as a notepad, a yellow pad, or an electronic record. I have used all forms in the past, and presently use the program 'My Writing Spot', making sure I keep a backup version in the world of the cloud. (This is critical-I lost much of my journal when I changed computers, and the stored events did not pass into the new computer, and they were just lost. This included many conference notes, many book notes, etc., and yes my personal journal.) Here I record generally my daily meditation practice, and any thoughts that come into my head when I am putting data in. I try to keep all separate, using separate journals titles. The electronic version allows me to move from one topic to another rapidly, keeps all in a single place, and allows me to view and write in many different topics rapidly, and transfers between my computer and my iPad easily, just a touch of an update button.

 

The journal becomes a roadmap, a history, of our story. This is specially important when we become discouraged in our journey, when things look bleak, and we can not see the wonderful outcome that is to come because we are buried in the weeds. If we look at our journal during this time we will see how far we have come, step by step, event by event, and how through each of the seemingly low periods in our life amazing things have happened to bring abundance and happiness into our lives.

 

Sometimes, depending on your memory, the journal needs only brief descriptions and concepts to trigger the memory of the actual event. Usually it requires a more detailed account to trigger the memory, and sometimes when years has passed, and the memory is vague, it takes an even more detailed account. So don’t stint in the account. It does not have to every day, but it should be whenever something brings a critical turning point to mind, usually in hindsight after the event, often months after the event.

 

So what are we looking for in this process? These events in our lives include the following as a brief outline, but only you will know the extent of the events, and will include events beyond this brief list and discussion:

–Shame and Guilt

–Fears

–Worries

–Anger

–Concerns

–Resentments

–Pride

–Etc.

 

Shame and Guilt

 

All of us have done things that we are ashamed of doing. Sometimes we carry this guilt and shame of events, some from our youth, around with us for decades, often for all of our lives. We bury it under piles and piles of things that are called “fun”, sometimes alcohol, maybe 'recreational' drugs, endless TV, or sometimes spiritual practices not for gaining spiritual knowledge but to cover our shame and guilt. Yes we can rationalize what we did, but can not, will not, forgive ourselves, and let it go. We demand that we be perfect, judge ourselves as inadequate, and flog ourselves mentally forever. These events are the most critical to bring to the front and talk about with God and, if possible, at least one other person. A priest, minister, or therapist can serve this purpose, or a good friend who will listen and not point fingers. We all have these events in our lives, but we just need someone who will listen, acknowledge the event, and help us to point out all you have done to move past that event, even if it was a repeating event over many years.

 

Shame and guilt are the most debilitating form of negativity that we can bear, and it spreads into all parts of our lives. I speak from personal experience, having a 'burden to bear', as St. Paul puts it. I spent years living a part of my life in shame and guilt, and until I used the AA 12 steps was I able to move away from the overwhelming sense of shame and guilt, eventually to forgive myself, and then uncover the low level of depression that is part of my nature, and accept that part of my Shadow. These steps to a Life of abundance are modeled after the Alcohol Anonymous 12 steps, as they were a gift from God for a particular problem. A wonderful behavior modification therapist taught me how to spare myself aggravating times that can spark the depression, and use tools to bring joy into my life. These include joyful music (I am listening to Dixieland right now), keeping myself away from unnecessary tension by avoiding most movies and television, and especially not to watch the news shows.

 

We will talk about dealing with our Dark side, or Carl Jung called it, our Shadow, in another posting in these steps to leading a Life of Abundance. And yes, God has put therapists into our lives that can help pave the way for peace and joy.

 

Fear

 

The next group of negative events concerns the Fears that fill us with apprehensions, worries and anger. Fear is the opposite of Love, and only Love can overcome the basic fears that fill our lives. For, as strange as it may seem, even fear is a form of love, love distorted, but still a form of love. For if we did not love something, even love our life, why would we have fears, for fear is the result that we see about the potential of losing something that we love.

 

Love is a continuum that extends from the highest form, Divine Love, all the way to hatred, which is an extreme form of depilating fear. It has been pointed out many times, and has been emphasized in' Conversation with God' (Neale Donald Walsch), that there is only one true emotion in the universe: Love, and all the ways that love can be expressed, from healthy love such as a mother for her child, all the way to destructive love that result in killing a person, or forms paralyzing fears that can be catatonic.

 

Most of our fears are the result of personal events, and often prevent us from fulfilling our potential in life. Fear of being mugged or worse in a large city that prevent us from enjoying the wonders of a large city, fear of potential terrorism that prevent us from participating in life and often make us hate a particular religious group, fear of speaking in public that prevent us from expressing yourself as Who You Are, fears, fears, fears. It is best to put these down in your journal, for they are a critical portion of a part of your life that you must be willing to put into the “hands of God” to better align yourself with the creative forces of the Universe.

 

Worries

 

Worries are about the things that 'may' happen, yet in truth, seldom ever occur. Jesus put it this way: “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air that do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you worth much more than they? (Matt. 6:25)

 

Worries form that wall that sometimes suffocates us, preventing us from living a life of joy and happiness. In fact, any worry, no matter how small, prevents us from the level of joy and happiness that God is offering us at all times. Worries from that invisible, nagging feeling, that I should be doing something, anything about —-. Will I have the monies for the mortgage or the rent? Will I be able to buy food? Can I get the car repaired?

 

One thing about worries: Never will a worry, I don't care how intense, solve the problem. It won't pay the rent, it won't reduce the ice on the road, it won't do anything to alleviate any concern. All worry does is debilitate the ability to actually do something to help. What needs to be done is to do all that you can see to do, ask for advice if you can, then turn it over and expect that all will turn out for the best for all concerned.

 

I speak from much experience. When I was laid off from my job in 1970, child number 5 was one year old. I gave the results over to my God, concentrated on my 'new job' of finding a paying job, my wife took a job selling men's ware at Gimbels' Department Store, and we cut expenses all that we could, by such things as asking the bank for several months excuse for paying the mortgage (which they gave). I was only out of work for 2 months, mainly because we were willing to move in order to live, while all others laid off with me (750) that I kept track of refused to even consider that option. My wife and I left it all up to God after doing our best, and God responded by showing us a better way to live and raise children in the foothills of the Adirondack mountains.

 

I could tell many more that have occurred, especially owning a small business during the last financial downturn.

 

Anger

 

Ah yes, anger. How many times have we held anger over an event, sometimes lasting years or for some a lifetime, severing families and friendships. What so and so did was unforgiveable, and how can I possibly let it go. The primary damage anger gives is to ourselves. Many times the person we are so angry with has no idea why we are angry with them, and sometimes doesn't even know (or care) that we are angry. I relate to that – I could not drop the anger at someone who had said some very nasty things about my wife in my presence, and it was years before I could put it aside even though my wife ignored it completely and she moved on. I can not tell you how often I tried, but it was, much to my surprise, a fixture in my life for over a decade, before using the 12 step program I was able to accept the event and move on.

 

Concerns

 

Concerns are a lesser evil than fears, even though in truth they are a minor form of fear. We are concerned that our children or grandchildren may not measure up to some mark we may have decided, we are concerned that our favorite team will not win, we are concerned that our car may break down, etc.

 

These are the same as Fears, but of a lessor nature. These too must eventually go if we are to of peace of mind, joy, and happiness.

 

Resentments

 

Ah yes, resentments. Most of us love them. We savor our resentments carefully, guarding them well, never letting them go as they often seem to define Who I Am. So and So has a better house than me, and look at them: they are not as smart as me, etc. etc. Resentments flare up often as a part of anger, and form blocks to the path to peace of mind, joy and happiness that are difficult to remove. For resentments are usually 'the other persons fault', and “I have the right to feel resentful for what they are”. Unfortunately, the other person usually hasn't a clue that you are resentful of them, so all that energy is lost in our own personal paranoia. Too often we just resent life, for not making us smarter, better looking, richer, etc.

 

These resentments too must be written down, and acknowledged.

 

Pride

 

Pride is the combination of fears, resentments, and self-agrandization that leaves us in pain and confusion, usually masked behind resentments and anger. Pride is important to one's life, for by pride we acknowledge our gifts and abilities, but pride, being one of the 'seven capital sins', is usually one of thinking of one's self beyond what is in reality, and acting more important than one is. Pride though has a side to it that is seldom recognized: being 'humble' beyond what one is. Refusing to accepting another's thanks, (Oh it was nothing), the like mannerisms often give rise to behavior patterns meant to present oneself in manners that are not a reality. Pride is the chief adornment of our ego, and prevents us from even acknowledging that a better way awaits us if we give these away.

 

These sides of ourselves have to be recognized in our journal as we discover them, for they are blocks to what could be greater joy and happiness than we have.

 

These entry items are only a part of what we need to acknowledge in our life, and as we uncover them over the months and years they lift burdens from our minds, remove barriers that are preventing us from having true freedom, and give us more room to align our lives with that of our soul, to permit us to live a life of joy and happiness in a Life of Abundance. Yes, this is not a one-time event, but comprise a path we are on that has to be revisited time and again.

 

The truly free person is one that is not weighed down by negative emotions, one that excepts our Shadow when it appears, corrects the action, and moves on, putting all these events of our past, in the proper place, in the past. Only then can we be truly free, and can accept with gratitude the freedom that comes with living in our soul's desires.

 

“Conversation with God” states our journey clearly: “Life is the greatest gift. It exists as an opportunity for you to create and recreate yourself anew in each golden moment of Now in the next grandest version of the next grandest vision you ever held about Who You Are”

 

This is the purpose of Life. This is why we are here in this life of physicality. This is our purpose in these 12 steps we are taking.

 

Step 4. Make a fearless examination of what is preventing me from surrendering my life over to the care of God as I understand Her/Him.

 

Meditation

 

Our Eternal Wisdom, I bow in gratitude for this opportunity to lose these weights that have burdened my life. Once expressing these burdens, I can place them into the proper place in my life, in the past. I accept gratefully the relief I gain in this process, made to move on with my life to a place of inner peace. I acknowledge my humanness, and am beginning to understand that I am perfect in your eyes, acting just as you created me to act, and moving forward to where I can express the next highest vision of Your vision for my life.