Jun 18, 2015

Gentle Woman

 

Gentle Woman, quiet light,

Morning star, so strong and bright,

Gentle Mother, peaceful dove,

Teach us wisdom, teach us love.

(Cary Landry)

On June 12th we celebrated the transition of a person who lived that refrain for 83 years in her soul, radiating out into and enveloping her world, Maureen (Mahoney) Rogers, blessing all her were placed in her path. We sang this song during the funeral mass, and I found myself in tears. Her love for Tommy, her husband whom she lost way too soon, their 10 children, or their 23 grandchildren, her sister, (my wife Eileen), and the multitude of friends she gathered like a bright light, filled the space around her so strongly that the aura of that love was palpable to all around her. It is still palpable in the love stories of their children that rang so true as we gathered together in celebration.

 

My personal story with Maureen goes back 55 years ago when I first met her and Tommy. Soon after Eileen and I were married 54 years ago we began an almost weekly visit with them on Friday evenings. The love that grew between all of us was a living bond as our families grew, and we had children almost at the same time, culminating with our 5th child being born on the same day as their 9th. The love we had continued over the years even after we moved to the upstate New York region, with their yearly vacation being held in our wilderness area.

 

Maureen was a remarkable person. She was very bright, the valedictorian of her high school, and fell in love with Tommy and married. She was the calmest person I have ever met, never raising her voice, always speaking in a calm, even, soft voice. Yet she had firm control of their 10 children, and as remarked during the stories, if she tapped her foot you were in big trouble, and if she stamped her foot (her children could only remember that happening twice), you were in BIG trouble. And she never raised her voice, despite the noise and bedlam that 6 boys could make. With Maureen, everything was always under control, even if the outside eye could not see that. Her children’s friends were always present, and during the stories related they all swore that there were at least 10 friends present at any time during the day. The children always sensed the love that was present, and went out of their way not to disappoint their parents if possible.

 

We watched Maureen accept life as it was dealt her. When her beloved Tommy developed cancer and passed, she wept but always kept an eye out for the children and grandchildren, consoling them even when her heart was breaking. She never questioned the justice of losing Tommy, and accepted life as it was dealt her, one day at a time.

 

And the she was dealt a further blow: she developed Alzheimer’s disease, and slowly lost her memory of what was going on. There was never a complaint, always a gentle smile, and she responded as best she could, in her soft voice. We were told that never, not once, was a complaint made about life treating her these blows. When her caretaker daughter, Bernadette, developed a brain tumor and passed within a week of the discovery three years ago, we do not believe she understood what had happened. A year later another daughter moved her to her family home, where she passed June 8. She had 24 hour care by a nurses-aid for many years during this time.

 

This brief history does not touch on the many people whose lives were changed simply because Maureen was who she was. Maureen was one of those rare persons who affected those around her simply by her presence. Her calmness and acceptance of life was obvious to all, all during her life, but especially during these past 17 years when her life suffered many adverse situations that never changed who she was in any way. I have missed her very much over the past few years when she became unable to travel to our home, and I will continue to miss her the rest of my life. Her presence affected our family greatly, even when she was not here, as our two families have remained close over the years, what with family reunions, parties for one reason or another, and many interactions that radiate the love that Maureen bestowed on all of us.

 

Transitioning from this life

 

The Course in Miracles, a 365 day work designed to bring one close to God, which I follow, stated the case beautifully on the day of Maureen’s funeral: Day 163, June 12: “There is no death. The Daughter of God is free“. This placement is not an accident, but a synchronicity of events, caused by the Spirit of Maureen and the world around her. This crossing of the stars, so to speak, brought me to the understanding deep in my heart that death and life are one continuous stream, never ending. Maureen passed and we celebrated her resurrection in freedom with the words: There is no death. The daughter of God is Free.

 

Gentle women, quiet Light

Morning star, so strong and bright,

Gentle Mother, peaceful dove,

Teach us wisdom, teach us love.

 

Indeed.