Oct 20, 2019

Cancer (34)

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future

To a known God”

• Corrie ten Bloom

My wife of 58 years (June 10) and best friend Eileen had been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the esophagus, which has now moved to the stomach. She has received radiation to reduce the original tumor (which worked), and has undergone chemo, which reduced or eliminated the original tumor, but the new tumor in the stomach requires a different chemo to slow its’ progress. This blog will give my thoughts, fears, prayers, and hopes during this challenging and difficult time.

This has been a good week, as things go. Eileen does not trust herself to go up and down a full flight of stairs, but by the end of the week she was able to walk around the house without the walker most of the time. She often requires help to stand from the chair and then requires the walker, and I usually have to help her out of bed during the night and in the morning. But she was able to go to the women’s group at church (I was at the men’s group which meets at the same time) for discussion and sharing on Saturday morning without using a walker, but she did use the elevator to go to the basement in the church. She did use the walker in and out of church last Sunday, but was able to walk to receive Communion unaided, and stand at the various times.

Eileen felt that she could not be far from a bathroom on this Sunday (today), so we missed Mass and stayed home.

And so it goes. Her appetite is low, but she asked for pizza on Saturday eve so I went and picked up a small one for the two of us. She has been having a lot of ice cream after supper most nights, and that is helping. It appears like the UTI she had really took a lot out of her that is slowly coming back, at least part way. As I have said, no pain but very weak, and sleeps a lot during the day.

We have been blessed with a beautiful fall, even though the heavy wind and rain this past week took much of the leaves. The generator we installed last year finally had a chance to shine, and it ran for about four hours at the height of the storm. It takes about five seconds to kick in after loss of power, and transfers back to the incoming power when it is restored without a flicker.

The adjustments to our daily schedule is slow but continious, and I dare not leave her alone for any length of time, as she often requires help to stand. She felt well enough on Friday to go into Binghamton for a manicure, which cheered her mightily. I took the time to get a haircut and visit the gym for a nice workout before picking her up and going home.

Indeed, God is blessing us every day. The daily adjustments are small, and we learn to accept the changes and smile as life continues. Every day is a blessing, and I am grateful for the time we have to just sit comfortably together, and I just am happy to be there with her.

Eileen completes the chemo pill cycle this coming week, and we see the oncologist on Friday to get the next reading. I suspect she has lost quite a bit of weight, but we shall see.

Meditation

Oh most Gentle one, Your love for us shines in all that occurs. We know that the time on this plane of life is short, but it has been very happy most of the time. What more could we want? You have gifted us with wonderful friends, a large and loving family, and wonderous beauty that constantly pours itself around us. We see Your presence everywhere we turn our attention, and it is always breathtaking. We are grateful for each day, from sunrise until sunset, and the dark of night.