Mar 10, 2019

Cancer (2)

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future

To a known God”

•              Corrie ten Bloom

My wife and best friend Eileen has been diagnosed with stage 3 cancer of the esophagus. This blog will give my thoughts, fears, prayers, and hopes during this challenging and difficult time.

We have just learned of the gravity of cancer, with the Upstate Cancer Center of Syracuse, NY telling us that it is at stage 3, and some small number of additional spots seem to be present higher in the esophagus than the main lump. A further test will be made to determine the extent of movement. We have been told that there is about a 30% recovery rate of stage 3 at this location. We will use a combination of radiation and chemo to attempt to remove the cancer.

We have lived a joyful but often challenging life together. Eileen has been the voice of God in my life over the 59 years we have been together (almost 58 years of marriage) and God has spoken to me through Eileen much of the time. I hope to be able to continue to trust in the goodness and love of God. (it does not depend on my trusting or not, but the question remains: can I continue to trust to the point that I can let life flow naturally?) The challenges are obvious, but God has always, always, done what is best for us all in our life.

It is easy when things are going along well to say that of course I trust God. But when life hands you a curve, can I continue to say that I trust in the love of God in difficult times? We shall see.

I love that saying by Corrie ten Bloom quoted at the heading of the writing, because in my 84 years God has been a constant of support even when I have felt so bad with depression. Right now the important thing is to keep my mind on the immediate situation, just today, and to be able to respond to Eileen as things arise. Everything else I will put aside as needed to be present when called. God is good, and like all of humanity, I have to keep my mind on this as events move forward.

Yes, life is still good.

Meditation

Oh my Gentle Resting Place, I place my trust in Your Love for us, and I know in my heart that You will support us as we follow the sign posts of this phase of our lives. We thank you for all You have granted us throughout our lives, the wonder and breathtaking vistas throughout our lives, the glimpses of Your wonder in all that is. We place our selves in Your care, knowing that all will be well, now and when we transition to the next phase.