Oct 11, 2020

 

Birth, Death, Joy, Grief (33) 

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future 

To a known God” 

• Corrie ten Bloom 

My wife of almost 59 years (59 years on June 10, 2020) and best friend Eileen had been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the esophagus, in February 2019. Eileen died on February 22, 2020, the day following the birth of our latest granddaughter, Maria, 60 years to the day after we met; the funeral was March 4, 2020, and the burial was July 3, 2020. This blog gives my thoughts, fears, prayers, and hopes during this challenging and difficult time looking at the space in my life. 

10/11/2020. Similar to last week with my mother’s birthday, tomorrow will be my father’s birthday. He would have been 115 but died in 2000. Yes, he was eight years younger than my Mom, but it worked out well. They knew each other for about 6 years before they married in 1928. I believe they waited to save sufficient monies to buy a farm; but they lost that in the depression. I have walked the land with my parents a time or two. They then bought five acres of land and dad built the house and all there. But that is another story. 

It is not good news about my brother Tom. He was in rehab for the pacemaker implant, but this past Wednesday he couldn’t breath and they took him to a hospital close to the rehab he was in, around midnight. He has fluid in the lungs again, and they said he is having many difficulties, and is apparently approaching the end of life. The doctors said he has a year on the outside, but it could be much less. They recommended hospice care, and he was taken there on Sunday, so he is there as you read this. He can no longer, at this time, talk on the phone, as they have a CPAP machine fastened to his face to help his breathing.  

I am very thankful for the 6-week total that I was able to spend with him this summer. It drew us close again, and we spent much time just sharing life with one another. He never fully recovered from the loss of Mary, his wife, and his one exercise that he used, walking stores and conversing with employees for hours, was taken from him with the lock-down of COVID. He then just sat around, and his body eventually gave out. It may have happened anyway, but just sitting for a month before he had his fall didn’t help. I had to strongly encourage him to exercise while I was there, and he found it very difficult to force himself up and around for with no purpose except to move his body. 

The world is a better place with his accomplishments in life, as he started the half-way house for troubled youth program concept that has expanded worldwide to help youth find a root in life. The half-way program was already established for adults, but most did not think that youth would work out well. They were wrong. 

I am writing this on Saturday eve, and my son Dan and family, including 7-month old Maria, are coming here hopefully late today, or tomorrow, for a wedding later in the week. I am looking forward for the smiles of Maria, and i had a brief glimpse of her on Facetime before the connection failed earlier today. She was smiling at me, and Dan said that when the connection failed she banged on the phone. Barbara said she would join us tomorrow (Sunday) for a couple of days, so the house will be busting out again for a short while.  

Life gives and life takes away, and that is the way life is. The cycle of life continues, from joyful youth to the further journey. 

 My son Dan and family will be arriving sometime Sunday and will hopefully be here when you read this. The bright cheerful face of Maria, born the day before Eileen died 7 months ago will fill the house once more with laughing (and crying, as she is teething) and bringing joy and life. Barbara will join us on Sunday for a few days. Alisandra is in a wedding not far from here on Friday, so they will probably leave here on Wednesday, but not sure. The house will be bursting with life for a few days. I saw Maria for a few seconds on Facetime earlier today, smiling at me. Dan said that she started banging the phone when the facetime failed, as she likes to see me, and I sure like to see her. 

Maria and Eileen perfectly mirror the cycle of life. 

Meditation  

Gentle One, life is a true gift. Help me to continue to savor it closely and draw from life all that You offer during this journey. I am grateful for the gift of time with my brother this summer. It gave us time to draw parts of our life together and gave power and understanding to our family at this junction of life, physical and spiritual.