Jun 02, 2024

 Living in Unconditional Love (169)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years after we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years. Covid has proved to be a persistent problem, and many of the long-term effects are quite serious, and it has proven much more serious than flu.

06/02/2024                            Another lost week, as my hacking cough hangs on. I finally went back to the walk-in, and they said that my lungs were still clear in the x-ray, but I have a touch of COPD and I should see my primary physician. I managed to get a quick appointment and she could not detect anything, so it is just the beginning. I will see a specialist to determine the extent, and then we will see what to do. My Dad had COPD at some time over 90, but it never interfered with his life. My primary was surprised, as I had never smoked, but I spent much time in smoke filled rooms at work when it was allowed. It was so bad that I used to change in the garage before going into the house as Eileen hated the smell of smoke. Second-hand smoke can be deadly.

The illness has really slowed me down, causing me to miss much of the beauty of my gardens this year.

The garden is beautiful as the iris and peonies are starting to bloom. I put pictures of the garden on Facebook. I love to look at the iris with all the various colors, and the 40-year-old Rhododendrons are stunning at this time of year. Totally covered with purple flowers ten foot high and wide. The first daylily is blooming, and the garden lilies are growing nicely. I forced myself to go out and walk around, as I have not felt like I could walk all week, and I am delighted I did. My son Tim mowed the lawn for me on Friday as I felt I could not do that.

The weather has been glorious, with not a cloud in the sky, but cool, in the 60s. Saturday was warmer, in the 70s, and still cloudless. It was perfect for a stroll around the garden even if I was not feeling so good. I love this time of year with then beautiful blooms that bring feeling of great joy and awe.

Some of my friends from my previous church in Homer invited me out for dinner on Wednesday and we met at the local restaurant. It was a fun time, as I decided I could not miss the opportunity to see them. We had a wonderful time, and I was grateful for the chance to see them. We talked at length, and I got caught up with what is going on, but I will not go back up there at my age and the wonderful friends I have reconnected with at the local church.

Meditation

Gentle One, You have held me gently all week as I have not been well. I have struggled but Your touch has held me firmly all week. I am grateful for all the help I have had, and I will wait patiently while my body heals. The pain in the world is profound, and I place all in Your gentle and healing hands at this time. I will rest, waiting for the healing process to guide me back to health, knowing that all will be well.