Aug 27, 2023

Living in Unconditional Love (129)

 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years after we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill (not COVID), and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years.

08/27/2023                             The weather has continued cool and much rain. I finally mowed today, including the lower area and the pond area. Some parts were too wet to mow, and I almost became stuck in mud at one point. Took me about 10 minutes to maneuver around and free myself, needing to wash the mud off the tractor afterwards. As bad as spring, and the grass had grown like it was spring. Since I mow the lower and upper areas every other week, the grass in the lower area was very high. The heavy tractor (I have a garden tractor rather than a mower – costs and weighs about twice as much but looks almost the same) left prints around almost all the edges where it is very wet, some with even standing water.

Most of the flowers are gone except for the gladiolas that are starting to bloom, and my pots and window boxes that are laden with bloom and looking great. The garden was weeded recently and looks very nice in all ways. The phlox are in bloom, and will peak this week I believe, but I have only a few of them. It is still enjoyable to walk around the garden when the weather permits.

I cooked eight chicken thighs tonight and will freeze six of them. I use a recipe from Barbara that works well and does not take a lot of effort, and I will have food for a while. I will say they were large, and I could barely finish one for dinner tonight. I had Bob Evans mashed potatoes – just required microwave for a bit over a minute to heat and taste like mashed potatoes, unlike many others.

I am not sure if I mentioned it, but I now have a call/fall button that I keep in my pocket. I must be careful, for I can trigger it off quite easily – except when I do fall! I must listen for the voice that appears in my pocket so I can tell them I am fine. I have fallen twice outside, and it was a slow-motion fall both times and it did not go off but jumping off the mower set it off today (Saturday). Both falls were fine, and I have no aftereffects and these things happen around the garden, especially on the hills where footing can be a challenge. But it is in my pocket if I need it.

I did not bother to listen to candidates attempting to outdo one another in their putting others down, and it is sad that our country has come to this. The only thing from what I read I could see is that they attempted to see how far they could put themselves from the ideals of our country and continue. Of course, the elephant in the room continues to outdo them all.

I received many responses to my last week’s journal, and I appreciate them all. I was not looking for pats on the back, for I know what I have done and what I have not done in my lifetime, both the good and the bad. These questions I ask myself continue to run through my mind, which is not a bad thing. I know God always holds me, even when I do not follow God’s wishes. But I still regret all those times when I could have responded better than I did, even though I understand that I did the best I could from the place I was at that moment. I was given the best possible gift, Eileen, to hold me and guide me when times were a challenge, and she never let me down.

Meditation

Gentle One, I continue to rest in Your love. I feel the warmth of love and joy of being as I rest in this beautiful summertime at this point. Your love fills everything I see around me, including the miracle of life, especially human life, that exists on this little round ball today. I am grateful for all the wonderful things I have been given in my life, and hope that I can fulfill my journey’s goals each day.