Jan 08, 2023

 Living in Unconditional Love (96)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

01/08/2023                             Still battling the cold, mostly stuffed head, and drainage, as per usual with almost all my colds. No sign of Covid, no fever or aches or pains. Just tiredness and blah. Taking a powerful decongestion that works, but probably not good for me otherwise. So, I lay around, eat very lightly, and do a lot of napping. Good time of the year for that.

This past year has been a year of changes. First and foremost, my business partner died, and changes must be accommodated; I left my parish where Eileen and I had been going for over 25 years and rejoined my town parish, and I find myself slowing down a bit and unable and/or unwilling to do the things I had been doing out and about.

I have been more active with my company DVC, now that my partner has died, and his two children employed at the company have taken his place. I will fully retire to let my two boys take my place in the not-too-distant future. We are doing well and had a good year last year. (A good year is when we make a profit.) We have the company Christmas dinner this coming Saturday, and it will take some adjustments to face the fact that my partner is gone. The death of my partner is very recent, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and the adjustments will take a year or so to work out.

These past weeks have led me into a. more introspective mood, where I am on the receiving end of things rather than the giving end of things, and unanticipated events interrupt that best of plans. As I watch the path of life play out, still feeling (in general) well, but watching my world shrink in bit by bit, l am beginning to understand the wheel of life as it truly is, beginning and ending gently sliding into dependency of some type. I am fortunate to be able to afford the support structure that I see needing in the future, but so many are not in that position. I am also fortunate that even at 88 I am in reasonably good health, with no major issues other than blood pressure. I have been blessed beyond measure, having been immersed in unconditional love for sixty years with Eileen; and truly all my life, as my parents gave their unconditional love freely, and I am still surrounded by the love of family and friends. What more could a person ask for in life!

Meditation

Gentle One, I rest in You once more. Your comfort and gentleness let me feel safe and secure. I feel Your Love flow freely into me, giving me a calmness and peacefulness in my very being. I ask only that You comfort me in this path and continue to open my eyes to love at every turn of life.