Dec 18, 2022

           Living in Unconditional Love (93)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

121/18/2022                           Another good friend of mine, Jack Garvey, passed away yesterday (Friday) morning. Jack had been in much pain from arthritis the past couple of years, and I have been concerned for him for some time. Jack was a big man with a booming bass voice and was the sole bass in the choir at St. Margaret’s in Homer for many years, but his strong voice was sufficient to carry that part. He was very bright, and we had many long talks about diverse topics, being one of the few I knew I could have a good discussion on many topics.

Our mountain top received a foot of snow Thursday-Friday, and it looks beautiful. We had snow, but I was told that down in the valley they didn’t have as much. (Rain? Maybe, but not sure. The snowplow person said we had a winter wonderland on Pease Hill top.) It is nice to look at, I had it plowed and my son Tim and Grandson Max cleared the front deck and brought the Christmas tree in from the garage. It is now glowing with all the lights, but I won’t decorate it (with help) until just before Christmas.

Except for the final decoration of the tree, all decorations are up for the year. I will be making my molasses cookies starting tomorrow, as it takes two days, including an overnight stay in the refrigerator, to make. Messy, but oh so good. An old German recipe from my mother who took it from her mother, etc.

I fond great comfort in putting all the Christmas decorations up and remembering where and when we obtained them. I recall fondly when we used to gather the family and sail off to find “the tree” each year. Usually way back in the “north 40” as they say, so we would be dragging the tree for up to a mile to get it to the car, often through streams. Since it was our custom to decorate the tree Christmas Eve and leave it up for the true 12 days of Christmas ending on January 6, we would wait as long as we could before going out to cut the tree to keep the tree bright and green as long as we could. Sometimes we would have a tremendous tree, requiring guywires to support and keep from falling over. I would drive large six-inch nails through the rug into the subfloor to attach the wires, usually three equally spaced.

Ahh memories. How they do feed the comfort zone of the mind. Memories of putting little doll carriages together (up to four little girls), always something that requires hours and hours of late-night effort (bikes anyone?), just so much joy and fun to fill the mind that I am not lonely as I am surrounded mentally with 60 years of joy and laughter.

I find myself in a bit of a maudlin state, sometimes lost in memories, and other times looking forward to making new ones each year. Missing Eileen, but happy with the 60 years we had together. This time of year was always joyful, and Andy Williams rang out (and still does) in joyful noise to accent this time.

Meditation

Gentle One, You hold me gently in the palm of Your hand. Your cradling of my being soothes and comforts me, brings me peace and joy that fills my being. I am happy to just rest in Your joy and peace that passes all understanding. I give myself into Your care as the end of this year approaches, and I know I will find joy and peace anew next year.