Dec 04, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (91)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

12/04/2022                    I am attempting to write this on my usual time of Saturday evening, but I find myself wrung out from today’s events. Last night was the wake and today the funeral of my friend and partner David Gdovin. We have been friends since my first day at Link Flight Simulation on January 3, 1971, where I was placed next to this young man in a bullpen operation that was common at that time. Dave and I became friends, and as his path moved more into program management and marketing and mine continued in the engineering path, our friendship continued with the occasional lunch and coffee times. Dave was eleven years younger than I, and it was a shock that he died.

God has guided us often in out path in the business, including this past summer when it was decided to update our operating agreement (see previous journal entries) and to place things in a better place for the future, simply because of age. We just completed signing the new documents in early November, and several legal items still must be processed. Dave has had recent health problems, but I do not believe this event was even believed to be so close. He has had to officially pull back in the past few weeks to concentrate on his health and had legally turned over his operational duties to his two children who have been functioning in that fashion for some time.

I will place myself in a more visible position by attending the staff meetings every other week in person when weather permits to assure all that things are working smoothly.

It is difficult indeed to lose a good friend of such long standing. It has caused much pondering of life and life events. Life is still good and interesting, and I am fortunate to be in reasonably good health and feeling well. I saw many friends from long ago at the wake and funeral and spent time chatting with them. Probably the only time we will see one another is at such sad events that cause a gathering of longtime friends.

Today, December 3, is my son Dan’s birthday. He was at the annual trade show in Orlando all this week (as was most of the company) and had planned to stay with his family for a short vacation celebrating his birthday. He flew back for the wake, then flew back down today to be with his family. Barbara came up to attend the wake and funeral as well as Tim and Julie attending the wake. The families are friends, and I spend time with each of Dave’s four children as well as his wife Mickey who held up well during the wringing events.

I have been amazed how my trust in God has been answered throughout my life. Time after time I have been given gifts at just the right moment, often at the very edge when if things went differently, it would have been challenging to put it mildly, and my trust seems to have been answered. My company has been the same way, in that we received contracts sometimes “out of the blue” and payments that meant life or death for the fledgling company. Even now, the updating of our operating agreements at the last moment allowed the smooth transitioning of ownership to Dave’s wife that would have been a challenge before this.

Sometimes the presence and operation of God is very clear to me, and I stand in awe and gratitude each time.

Meditation

Gentle One, I have placed my trust in You time and again, and especially at this moment, and never been disappointed. Surprised sometimes, but never disappointed, even in life and death situations. Yes, my trust in You during Eileen’s illness and death was the same way. I trust in that You will always guide me, even when I seem to balk and run in the other direction. I try to surrender each day, and hopefully that effort will suffice even when I don’t truly surrender, which seems like most of the time.