Nov 27, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (90)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

11/27/2022                             I received a shocking phone call Sunday (11/27) morning from the wife of my friend and partner Dave Gdovin that he died this morning. Dave was the first engineer I met when I joined Link Flight Simulation on January 3, 1971, occupying the desk next to mine. We remained friends throughout the years, and in March 1996 joined forces to form Diamond Visionics, LLC. He had not been feeling well and had just completed transitioning his leadership roles to his two children that are employed at DVC. He will be deeply missed, and I am in shock at the news.

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Tomorrow (Sunday) will mark a change in my life. For the first time since we left St. Patrick’s church in Whitney Point in 1995 I will be attending Sunday Mass there (with Barbara), who will leave for home afterwards. The church in Homer where Eileen and I moved to at that time when she became the Director of Religious Education and part of the lay team that operated as the decision-makers of the parish has lost all the reasons we started to attend that parish. Our purpose of attending St. Margaret’s in Homer, where the funeral Mass for Eileen was held was to join the stimulating world of lay involvement that was building within the Catholic Church, especially at St. Margaret’s in Homer. The stimulating music, the joy of friendships, the many discussions held formally and informally were an exciting time in our lives, and I truly hold that time dear. But things have changed, and, quite frankly, it is no longer a joyful place to be, with that lay involvement almost totally gone.

They have removed all Eucharistic Ministers (whose function is to remove the host from the tabernacle and clean up later besides helping distribute communion), that function now performed by the deacon or priest. They have stopped using communion distributers (that is the name of those whose function is to hand out the host) at the 10:30 Mass, as the deacon will now do that. They have stopped the music ministry, now using only a song leader for the three songs and no other leader for the ministry music. Yes, the music person is good but conservative. And quite frankly, most of the songs are not very exciting and stimulating, and often I disagree with the theology expressed in the song and I don’t sing. Plus many other things, such as reducing much of the parish outreach, now only sending a few gift cards rather than baskets, and eliminating the Giving Tree at Christmas (a parish favorite, causing much uproar), for it was too much bother. They have effectively eliminated all community outreach, despite having funds dedicated for that purpose.

And there is the simple fact that so many of our friends have either died or moved, or left the church, that I have little incentive in driving 30 miles to be disappointed when I could drive only 4 miles and probably be as disappointed – but maybe I will be surprised, and it is only four miles away. We have a small but vibrant little community already at the Tuesday morning communion service. It will be kind of exciting to see some long-ago friends and to reestablish those friendships and neighbors. (My disappointment stems from the weak liturgy that is today’s standard.)

I decided after the latest changes that it would be good to start the new church year (advent marks a new church year, and this Sunday is the first Sunday of advent) with a fresh start in my church life. I will watch the bulletin and if St. Margaret’s have a bake sale or something I would enjoy I will attend if possible, where I can chat with my friends that are left, but other than that I will relocate my affiliation back to Whitney Point.

Sunday: it was a joy to see many friends and learning of the dynamic outreach that is at this little church, far surpassing what is left at my previous parish in Homer.

I had intended something different for this week’s journal, but that is not what has occurred this week, and such a change deserves a discussion, as well as the grief I feel at the loss of my friend and partner.

Meditation

Gentle One, You are calling for a change in my life that is sad but necessary. Perhaps just my age would eventually call for this move, but the changes put forth have called for a response and You have guided me to realign my thoughts. My age has slowed me down and called for a new direction, but love calls forward. You have started with a small new community that I hope will build a foundation for the rest of my life, and I bow in gratitude for the love shown by all. Plus You have taken my friend and partner home, and I have to pause to let that fact of life sink in.