Oct 30, 2022

 

  Living in Unconditional Love (86)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

10/30/2022                             This has been a quiet week, with my only outside endeavors being the Tuesday morning communion service and physical therapy on Tuesday and Thursday. I am waiting for the fuel oil to be delivered to the new tanks under the porch and I will add something to prevent jelling when it gets cold. I was reminded of that when I talked with the fuel oil folks and told them of the new outside tanks vs. the buried tank I have had up to now.

The weather is cold at night, dipping below freezing, but warms up to be in the 50s during the day, and still bright and sunny. Requires a warmer jacket if I am outside.

The house is usually very quiet, as I no longer play music to fill the space. Just being here, filled with the memories of a goodly portion of my life (the last fifty years), especially the memories of Eileen and the raising of our seven children fills the space in the day. Quiet allows the memories to seep in softly, as they permeate everything I am surrounded with all day.

The open side of democracy in our country has had a good ride, not overly spoiled by what was pretended did not exist. But the influx of people, legal and not legal, has been gradually changing the social mix. We have reached the point now that those with a non-European background have surpassed, in numbers, (including children) those with European ancestry. Eventually they will be able to vote, especially the children, and then things will slowly improve for those who have been put down before now. In the meantime, it will be rocky, moving back and forth, depending on the efforts of many. I will not live long enough to see the change, but I have lived through the periods where change occurred and watched the slow evolution of cultural shift, one step at a time, sometimes two steps back but over time a slow movement forward. Maybe, given enough time, we will have a more balanced government. But it will take time, and probably another generation or more before it becomes permanent.

But right now, the rule of the land is rocky, and may get worse before it slowly improves. As I have said, it is much more open than even 100 years ago – far better.

One of my good friends died this week. Her husband had died just over a year ago, and I know they are happy to be together. She was part of the group of seven that met every Sunday after church for brunch for many years. Now there are only three of us alive, and one has moved away to be with family. And so, life goes on, birth and death are part of the cycle we all are on.

Meditation

Gentle One, You are patient beyond comprehension. I rest in You, trying to see through Your eyes the progress of humanity over time. But I am only here for such a short time, and I want to see things occur during my lifetime. But that is not how life operates, as You have patiently told me time after time. I am grateful for what I have seen occur, and from the big picture it has been a breathtaking ride these past 70 years. I ask but to keep my family warm and safe, and I will bow in trust to Your love for all of humanity.