Sep 18, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (80)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

09/18/2022                             A beautiful late summer day. I mowed the lawn today; it is growing like it is spring. Tall and full after one week. Nice to see after all the brown of the lack of rain during July and August. It is wonder to see how just a couple of days of steady rain seems to erase the summer lack – at least in the grass. The garden looks great; fully weeded, and all the bushes cut back to last a few years. Some will have fewer flowers next year, but they will be even better in two years. The pond looks beautiful, cleared of trees that had fallen in. Today was a splendid late summer day, hardly a cloud in sight, temperature in the 70s. Spent time this evening (Saturday) sitting on the new rocker-bench at the pond with a glass of wine, very peaceful.

It is a wonder to watch the lines of people waiting to view the coffin of the Queen, many in tears. The monarchy is often derided in our country, but the continuity it provides is a sight to behold. Leaders come and go, and she greeted the new Prime Minister just two days before she died, looking well and cheerful. She was a rock to England for 70 years, providing a comforting sense of continuity that our country could use at this particular time. Even now, the chant of “God save the Queen” that became “God save the King” immediately upon her death, showing that continuity once more.

I had my Covid booster and flu shot this week; mild discomfort afterward but am fine now. I do not understand the reluctance of so many that refuse to get the vaccine. Hundreds are still dying daily from Covid. Hundreds! Why do they even bother going to the doctor when ill? If they refuse that preventive care when offered, why should we pay for their illness that could have been prevented? It is like the polio outbreak occurring around NYC because so many refuse to get the vaccine. Now everyone else must pay for their recovery (and for some it could be a lifetime) because of a refusal to get the vaccine. Do you remember the pictures of the “Iron Lung” machines back in the ‘50s? I certainly do. One of my best friends from college walks with a limp due to polio (before the vaccine), and as he ages it is becoming more pronounced.

I have thought more on my use of the Gentle One in my meditation. I have come to conclusion that I am addressing the swirling triad of the Trinity, or the full complexity of Love that is God, as in John’s first letter. “God is Love; and one who abides in Love abides in God.” I see the Trinity as active, or a vowel, always in motion, ever expanding, always new. One can never “know” God, as God is ever new, ever changing, aways displaying the wonders that overwhelm our senses if we but have eyes to see, as Jesus said. Love by its very nature can never be still, for love to be still is to die. It is always ever new, always fresh, always a wonder. That is the wonder of a good long marriage; our partner is ever new, always confounding us with the gift of love as fresh as the first day. Every day, indeed, every moment is fresh, and filled with the wonderous vibrancy of a new insight of love that never ends.

Meditation

Gentle One, I sit before You, head bowed in wonder at the beauty of your world that is ours for good or evil. When a perfect day is here, like today as I write this, I feel the wonder of life. Yes, I do wish to show this to Eileen, and perhaps she is here with me as I feel her presence so strongly. I am at peace with my part of the world, immersed in love for all I have been granted.