Sep 04, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (78)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

09/04/2022                             Time certainly flies! School is starting this week. I have had as close to a “normal” week as any this summer. The refrigerator was frozen; once thawed out it worked fine with no leak. The water had been turned off for almost a week, and the line feeding the ice maker froze. The repair person checked the water filter (I could not find it and had never changed it: it was under the refrigerator!) It turns out that almost all refrigerators are made by the same company and use the same water filter. My local hardware store had one in stock and so now we are good to go. The original one had been in for five years, rather than the six months recommended. I had taken everything out of the refrigerator several times searching for the filter as I could not find the instruction manual. I never thought to look under the box.

It turns out I was exposed to Covid at the wedding, as one of my grandnieces became ill the very next day and Covid was confirmed. But since everything was outside and we had very little interaction, I don’t think I was in any danger, but I have stayed home this past week. So far so good, and it has been eight days and I feel fine.

I have finally been able to start walking again in the afternoon, not as far as usual but it is a start. Then the past couple of days I have gathered my glass of wine and walked around the grounds, pruning little things that needed it. First time in several weeks. Everything has been weeded and a steel railing has been added down the steep rock garden and I feel safe walking everywhere. All has been weed-wacked, and everything looks beautiful. It is a real joy to sit in the glider by the meditation garden or the gazebo or down by the dock and just drink in the silence and beauty. Just to sit or walk around is soul satisfying.

I have been gifted such great beauty for my time on this planet. Eileen has always been breathtaking to me for all the sixty years we were together, and then to spend 50 years and counting on this mountain top has been a true gift from God.

I have been given far in excess for what I have done in my life. Loving family that extends to multiple generations, a challenging and rewarding job, wonderful friends, and beauty that rocks my soul every day. Love surrounds me and fills my being with joy every day. I miss deeply my partner in life, but what I have reminds me of her all the time. She was very happy with the house at the end, and I have basically left it alone. I am adjusting the garden to that it takes very little care except for weeding and heading the flowers after bloom, and I have wonderful help that keeps all in line.

Meditation

Gentle One, I am surprisingly happy at this stage in my life. I have accepted the parting with Eileen until we meet again and find great joy in just breathing the air that is filled with the joy of You. My life is full, and I am busy with things to do and joys to live. I am grateful for each day I have and am satisfied that You have led me to this gentle time of life.