Aug 21, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (76)

“Love flows from God to humans without effort:

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings-

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul,

Yet separate in form.”

–Mechtild of Magdeburg

 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out among people, unlike many.

08/21/2022                             Mostly a great week, having many of my family here. Sunday evening leaves me alone again, but I will go to my daughter Barbara’s pace on Thursday for a grand nephew’s wedding early on Friday morning at Cony Island. Yes, the amusement park. Should be interesting, as the park is closed and only the wedding guests are allowed in. Afterwards we will go back to Barbara’s place and my daughter Janet is coming in for the weekend, so I am staying for the weekend. Looking forward for that.

I will miss having family here, but Dan and family are talking of coming with his family at the end of September for a couple of weeks. Looking forward for that event.

The faucet wasn’t fixed until Wednesday. A whole week without the kitchen sink. That meant doing dishes in the bathtub, but luckily the younger ones here did that and all worked out. I used the dishwasher almost every night but still had pots and pans, etc. When I was more alone, I filled a big jug with water and used the kitchen sink that way, but a pain.

I am noticing that it takes me longer to recover from illnesses than previously, so even though I feel well I get tired easily and sleep longer at night. But I am well, just a bit slower this week.

The gardens are well past their peak and need a bit of scrubbing to look well. It has been so dry that many are wilting even though they have been established for many years. We had a bit of rain today and will hopefully have more during the week. It is so dry that it can’t be weeded as the ground is hard. It is DRY! We need several inches over several days to make things right. My tomato crop has been stupendous, and I gave away a large bowl of tomatoes to my son Tim who popped out on Saturday with family to see Karen and Rianna. Two plants that are giving 6 or more tomatoes a day. I have them in a self-watering bucket so they can enjoy moisture and sun to give fresh vine-ripened tomatoes aplenty.

My journey with God this past week has been generally filled with joy of family being present, and more of that to look forward this week. Since I will be away next weekend, I may skip next week’s journal or write it very early or late, depending on my time and how I feel, tired-wise. I just am grateful for all the love that has been showered on me by friends and family, giving us time just to be together and laugh and tell stories.

But mostly I am filled with gratitude for God bringing Eileen into my life 62 years ago. Being with children and grandchildren brings fountains of gratitude out for the joy of family. I am listening to one of Deepak Chopra’s 22-day meditation series entitled Gratitude, and I am filled with gratitude to God for my life that has been filled with wonders and joy and growth.

Meditation

 

Gentle One, I rest in joy despite problems and memories that pop up wherever I go. I give all to You to guide me at this time, and to help those struggling with pain and frustration in our world that has so much pain. May we find ways to lean on one another during times of pain, and to give our love and joy to those who so need it right now. I rest in gratitude for all the wonders You have brought into my life.