Jun 27, 2021

  Living in Unconditional Love (16) 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort: 

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings- 

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul, 

Yet separate in form.” 

–Mechtild of Magdeburg 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down for over a year. 

06/27/2021 Quiet week, but my Granddaughter Maria has named me Grandpa (or at least as well as a 16 -month-old can say grandpa). When she saw me on facetime on Friday she smiled and said “Grandpa” on her own. Little ones are so earnest in their learning efforts; and they are always learning. The weather was nice enough that I trimmed many of the bonsai and pulled the many weeds that have sprouted in the bonsai while I waited out the robins in their nest. And I completed another paint-by-number of Eileen, this one in her wedding gown; it looks nice sitting on the couch across from my usual chair.  

The garden looks great. The Martagon lilies are in full bloom, but it appears I lost some, as only one color has appeared so far – red. I have some yellow ones – or I did. Sometimes they bloom later, as I have had the red ones for many years, getting them from my dad. Buds are forming on my daylilies and garden Lilies; the Asiatic lilies should bloom soon, followed by the trumpet lilies, then the Orienpets, and finally in August the Oriental lilies. And I did plant 10 more glads this week. Plus, many other blooms that add to the beauty. I have gone to almost all perennials, as they require much less work, and I am not replacing the roses as they die as they require too much work. Adding peonies instead; almost no work after they are established, and last forever. 

As I ponder life and my journey in life, I can feel the wonder of it all. To think that I have spent 87 years here, the result of 13.7 billion years of growth and process, untold generations even in the 70,000 years that we know modern humans lived plus the process of 500 million years of life’s evolution on our planet – all resulting in me (and you). I have had a hand in future generations, joining with the breathtaking love of Eileen for 60 years. This time span sounds like a lot; it is only a tweak in the totality of life, but it is my tweak. I feel gifted by remarkable loves that have filled my life with joy and happiness, and thankful for the floundering around that taught me to be humble. The loss of Eileen created a vacuum, but God has filled that vacuum with friends and memories. I can still state emphatically that life is good and full. Yes, pain and loss are present, but that is part of life. The universe is filled with birth, pain, and death and loss – and beauty, and that is the entirety of life, even the stars and galaxies. Because above all is glory, beauty, and light, that some of us call God. In my mind, God clothes itself with the wonders of life that we see around us, and these wonders extend through eternity, evolving and changing, for that is what true wonder is – ever new and evolving, filling one with awe. 

Meditation  

Loving One, Your gentle touch keeps me grounded in love. I sometimes feel lonely and empty, but then Your touch in the form of beauty appears and I know that Love is always present, shining forth if I but use my eyes and heart to see. Your gifts are mind-filling, giving me joy and happiness even amid loss and loneliness, allowing me to contain both at the same time. 

We will be starting a new book in our Zoom book group: Breathing Under Water. Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, by Richard Rohr. We gather on Zoom on Wednesday eve at 7 PM. The Zoom address is: 

                       813 5887 8355 

                            322535