Jun 06, 2021

  Living in Unconditional Love (13) 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort: 

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings- 

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul, 

Yet separate in form.” 

–Mechtild of Magdeburg 

My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down for over a year. 

06/06/2021 I am writing this very early in the week (Tuesday), as I will be traveling to Virginia with my daughter Barbara on Thursday for the rest of the week to see Dan and Alisandra – and Maria, who is 15 months old, and has the connection with Eileen. This past weekend was Memorial Day weekend, and as I said last week, my two daughters Barbara and Janet and Janet’s son Brendan came here. Even though the weather certainly could have been better, we had a wonderful time. Drew and his two little ones came over and played with us for an afternoon and we had a BBQ, and Tim and my grandson Hayden came over for a chicken dinner. Great weekend. 

It is an amazing part of life to watch life flow. It just seems like yesterday when Eileen and I were married (I am painting a picture of Eileen in her wedding gown), next week on June 10th we would have celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary! Now I watch two direct generations, one generation in the middle of life and one generation starting life, and my generation leaving all behind and moving on. Eileen’s younger brother and I are the only ones left out of six of our generation. Even most of the spouses of my generation are gone, including mine. Kevin and Mary Jo are still hale and hearty, but time is relentless. It brings big questions to mind, such as: Why? What is the purpose of each life? What was my purpose? Was there a purpose? So many more. And this has been going on for thousands of generations, gently fragmenting and separating as the generations increase. 

It is amazing how rapidly things return to ‘normal’ after a visit, whatever that is. I straightened up a few things, made a bed, put books back in my convenient places, and everything is just like it was. It seems almost like a dream except for the couple of pictures I took.  

The beauty of spring is highlighted right now by the azaleas and rhododendrons, especially the grove of wild pink azaleas that have been here since we moved here 50 years ago, visible from my spot at the dining room table. “Pinkus” is the name, and there are a few groves around near streams in lightly shaded areas. I have moved many to places in the garden and around the house, but they reseed and there are just as many in the original area, and even more as they have spread against the woods right at the edge, moving down the hill to follow the path back to the pond, in a fairly damp area, even if is at the edge of the rock-cut that was made to build the house some 60 years ago. Water seeps out of the rock areas in the spring, just appearing in surprising areas. 

My first Iris opened today, a stunning pink. The first of many. 

Meditation 

Gentle One, I feel protected and loved beyond counting! Now that family can visit and even hug, life seems especially good, even if I spend most of my time alone. Eileen feels close, and I feel her warmth and love when things get painful. This week especially feels good, and I will remember the joy felt with family. Family and friends create a wonderful aura of love, especially set against the wonders of nature, and I am so grateful for all that I have been given.