Dec 15, 2019

Cancer (42)

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future

To a known God”

• Corrie ten Bloom

My wife of 58 years (June 10) and best friend Eileen had been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the esophagus, which has now moved to the stomach. She has received radiation to reduce the original tumor (which worked), and has undergone chemo, which reduced or eliminated the original tumor, but the new tumor in the stomach requires a different chemo to slow its’ progress. This blog gives my thoughts, fears, prayers, and hopes during this challenging and difficult time.

Eileen has gained back 4 lbs. of the 10 that she had lost since the last weight time, three weeks ago. But the big test will be the PET scan on Monday, December 16. We won’t get the results until December 23. She is still very weak, but in no pain except from pulling herself up by her arms, especially at night, makes her shoulder ache. We are looking forward to the family gathering around Christmas, and going to Mohonk Mountain House from December 27-30.

We still have a white view; even though the foot of our hill is bare, we had snow here Sunday morning, while it rained down below. We feel blessed with all that we have, and are grateful for each day we have, and as Eileen has apparently reached a plateau and we are grateful that we will have a blessed, but noisy, Christmas together. The sounds of family are a joy to have, and the chance to catch up with all is wonderful. We were not sure if we would have this time for all to be together this year, and each day is a blessing.

Most of the snow is gone, due to all the rain we had each day the last few days, but as I had mentioned, we woke this morning to a half-inch or so of fresh white snow, so the beauty continues. I love the seasonal changes, and find the winter always beautiful. We used to love sledding down the hill when we first moved here. We had an open toboggan run of over a half-mile at that time, then the trees came as everybody grew up, and now they are over 50 feet tall, so that the run is only about 200 yards now! Two of our grandchildren were here last weekend and ran the toboggan down the hill and had to roll off before crashing into the trees. Still lots of fun. Of course the lead person had the snow in the face; and I remember I was the wind-break for many a run, tying a scarf over the face and relying on others to steer – often Eileen brought up the rear to handle the direction, then we would trudge back up the hill pulling the sled with kids piled on, and repeat. A couple of runs was all we could do.

The joys of a large family!

Meditation

Oh Wonderous One, You have given us so many joys to remember of Your beautiful universe. We are grateful for the time and place where we can enjoy this breathtaking creation that make this journey so joyous, even during this end of journey time. We are grateful for this extended time of being with friends, who love us and give back to us in joy.