Nov 17, 2019

Cancer (38)

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future

To a known God”

• Corrie ten Bloom

My wife of 58 years (June 10) and best friend Eileen had been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the esophagus, which has now moved to the stomach. She has received radiation to reduce the original tumor (which worked), and has undergone chemo, which reduced or eliminated the original tumor, but the new tumor in the stomach requires a different chemo to slow its’ progress. This blog will give my thoughts, fears, prayers, and hopes during this challenging and difficult time.

This week has been, by and large, good. Eileen started the week needing a lot of help, but by the end of the week her strength has increased greatly. Thursday and Friday nights she needed no help getting out of bed, and walked around without the walker most of the day. She uses the walker at night and when she first gets up in the morning, but otherwise it sits next to her chair where she spends most of her time. Sunday (today) Eileen needed the walker for church, as she felt winded walking from her chair in the living room to the bathroom.

On the other hand, I broke a toe on my left foot (fourth toe, next to pinky) last Sunday when I got up from a nap to start dinner (a roast chicken which turned out well) and caught my foot on the couch leg. Did not hurt that badly at first, but it got redder and swollen as time went by. Went to the walk-in on Monday, where they took an x-ray, saw the clean break in the middle of the toe. So now I have a boot, and have to keep that toe strapped (taped) to the two toes inboard for about 6 weeks I was told. Doesn’t hurt that much, but annoying. I use a cane most of the time, take the boot and strap off at night, and put it back on all day.

Eileen completed this round of chemo pills, and this is the week off. She is eating more now, so maybe the pot pills are working. Hard to tell. Maybe just because she is having the off week now. We shall see when she starts back on the chemo pills on Wednesday.

We went to the women’s and men’s spiritual group meeting today (Saturday), as it is held on the third Saturday of the month during the school year. The men’s group is small, and only 7 were there, including Father Paul, our pastor, who leads the group. The women’s group is much larger, and about 20 or more were there. Our men’s group watched a video by Fr. Richard Rohr, my favorite Franciscan Priest, who has written many wonderful books and given many great talks on the Christ of the here and now, present in all of creation, where we were meant to live in heaven here on earth. But that is the topic of much further thought that I have pondered on for many years. My blogs over the past 4 years or more are more or less on that.

I mentioned this morning at the men’s group that I consider it a privilege to be able to be with Eileen during this time of her life, for indeed this is part of the journey of life that we all must walk through. I watched my father take total care of my mother after her series of strokes. Dad carried Mom in and out of the bedroom, took her to the bathroom, bathed her, clothed her, fed her, and was present to her for three years, before another series of strokes took her life. Mom was fully conscious during all this, but unable to talk or move her arms and legs. She showed her pleasure with winks, nods, small smiles, and nods of her head. Mom was 91 when she had her first series of strokes, and 94 when she passed. Dad was 83 when Mom was first hit, and 86 when Mom passed. He too was 94 when he passed from strokes, but was down for only one year. (yes, he was 8 years younger, but their marriage of 64 years was a beautiful thing to behold.)

Yes, indeed, God has granted me a privilege to walk this path with Eileen, and I bow in gratitude for the opportunity.

Meditation

Today I had a chance to ponder and think on this journey through this phase of my existence. I thank You my Gentle Creator for granting me this opportunity to live a life of loving service to one of Your most beloved. I place myself under Your guidance, knowing that You will give Eileen and I the strength to move through this life event, and prepare ourselves for the life to come.