Living in Unconditional Love (61)

May 08, 2022

  Living in Unconditional Love (61) 

“Love flows from God to humans without effort: 

As a bird glides through the air without moving its wings- 

Thus, they go wherever they wish united in body and soul, 

Yet separate in form.” 

–Mechtild of Magdeburg 


My wife Eileen died from esophageal cancer in February 2020 one year after being diagnosed, 60 years to the day that we met on Long Island. Then my brother Tom became ill, and I spent a total of six weeks being with him in Ohio, but he died in October 2020. My sister-in-law Sue Mahoney died from Covid-19 in January 2021. On top of it all stood the pandemic, locking everyone down almost two years, and even though it is abating, I wear my mask anytime I am out, unlike many. 


05/08/2022 Spring is here. The phoebes are back (I hope), daffodils are bountiful, and the magnolia is showing color. Not sure if the magnolia will fully bloom, as it has been a cold spring after some warm weather, which sometimes turns off full open bloom on my magnolia. Have even attempted to mow the lawn twice, but I failed to notice the “deck (mower) up” lever on my garden tractor. Just as I was putting it away after the second mow, I saw the lever was up! I has noticed that the grass was not looking as I thought it should be, but I thought it was only me. But no, I was cutting it very high, probably 5-6 inches or more. I will mow both the upper and lower lawns if the weather allows it next week. I said to myself that I never put the deck up, so what happened? Then I remembered the last thing I did before putting the machine away for the winter is to have it serviced, where they bring in a truck to put the machine up and sharpen the blades, etc.; and they always put the deck up in the locked position when they return it. That was November, and I had forgotten that and didn’t look carefully enough. Oh well, it was a pleasant time riding around on the machine looking at all the beauty. 

I am not sure of the phoebes; they had checked the nest by the front door and were getting it ready for this season, when one flew into the garage. I chased it out but haven’t seen them since. It has now been almost a week, so I am concerned they found a different spot. I just put out the hummingbird feeder. It usually takes a few days before it is discovered. 

Covid has certainly moved in with a vengeance. During this past month two of my sons contracted it (and naturally their families), one of my Zoom book club members has it this past week, and this past Friday I received a message from the wonderful person who leads our communion service on Tuesday mornings that she has tested positive. I will stick to my rule of wearing a mask whenever I am out and about other people as apparently this version is highly contagious. I find it strange that people refuse to wear a mask most of the time, but I will admit I saw many wearing a mask when I went grocery shopping on Friday and to Mass on Saturday evening. 

One of my benches by the pond had collapsed from all the snow. It had lasted at least 20 years, so no complaint. I bought a glider for that spot on the pond; it will be nice to sip some wine and watch the water flow by while rocking in the beauty. It does feel nice while rocking. 

Eileen loved the spring most of all, watching all the new growth and renewal of nature that signifies God watching over all. We are so fortunate; four billion years of life to produce humans (who now seem intent on destroying our home life). Watching the red of the trees turn to green; watching our bonsai start growth and reminding me I have much pruning and wiring to do this year since it has been several years of just making sure they survive; I have hope for the future in all that occurs. Hopefully it will warm soon so I can work comfortably outside (I do not do well in the fifty’s). 

God has indeed gifted me in all my 88 years on this planet. To watch the beauty of nature, to have the wonder of the gift of Eileen in my life, to see the awesome glory of children coming from the love of Eileen and I, how much more could I ask. Oh yes, I wish she was still at my side physically, but I know she is always at my side spiritually. Eileen showed me unconditional love for 60 years; how could I ask for more? I am content (usually). I will admit to loneliness, but usually I am fine. 


Gentle One, I have been resting easy in this beautiful time of the year. Your love has created ease in my life, and I love and feel the ease of eternity at this time. Spring gives joy to life to see the reddening of the branches and breaking out in full-fledged greenery. It appears that Your joy spills over into the universe at spring and invites us all into a universe of love and joy. 

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My God has led me on an 80 year jaunt to ever more wondrous beauty. I am led to share this journey and gifts of God that have been showered upon me, not just for me but for whoever God brings into my path.

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